Wednesday, January 31, 2007

January 31, 2007

I started my day with a lovely conversation with a friend and was able to keep my mind busy enough to NOT get down. The sun is shining and it makes you THINK it is warm out. The dust bunnies on my computer desk have turned in to dust dogs. I feel like sneezing all the time. The morning went way to fast, and soon my little miss will be home. I have to enjoy this quiet as long as I can. Alicia came by for her lunch, she is still not feeling well. I am soo glad that I have so far been able to stay healthy. I will close for now and maybe try to write more later. Till next time...

Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Voices from the past

I am really not sure how to put into words what I have felt as I looked through old letters and cards. The Internet has taken away the personal feel of getting a letter in the mail. I had forgotten that Alicia would write to me when she did NOT feel like I was hearing her. Why is it so much easier to write down our feelings than actually speak them out loud?

I found the card that I was given after Grandma O'Brien gave to all of us after she died. I still have NOT been able to read it as I know the tears will come. The notes from my sisters when they were very young. I had to laugh at some of the spelling in them. I think what made me so sad was how I had lost contact with some of these friends. How does that really happen? So we really get that busy that we can NOT stop for a few minutes and jot down a few words to send to them?

I was just reading I think the last letter of Grandma Helen's that I had received. She was so distressed that she was NOT able to give out gifts like she used to. She mentioned being tired of having to worry about the tubing when she moved around. I do NOT have memory of this tubing that she had for her oxygen. I must have NOT been home during that time. If only I could tell her the gifts did NOT matter only having her was important. I am always compared to my Grandma Helen, maybe I am like her, who knows?

I also found this card of Janet's that I must have kept pinned on a bulletin board at one time. She had put this poem in it that a friend of hers had written. I do NOT know what the date is that it was sent, or what kind of struggle I was going through, but I have an idea. The words will NOT be put here as they are private, but she has no idea how much they mean even now!

I had to smile when this letter from when I was going to college at LRJC appeared in the pile. I think one day in class we were told to write something about everyone in the room and then the comments were all given to us. Here is the list of comments: Jacqui-very nice, blushes a lot dresses casually, Jacqui-looks like the outgoing type, likes to joke around, likes to party,Jacqui-very outgoing, in between introvert and extrovert,Jacqui-fun to be with, emotional, likes to talk, considerate of others feelings,Jacqui-has a notorious laugh or a laugh like she knows "something is cooking", blushes , probably more reserved in class, Jacqui-fun to be around, nice personality, Jacqui-warm person. Pretty smile, type of person that you can sit down and talk to. Jacqui-a homey type, has a laugh that makes you want to laugh too. friendly, Jacqui-laughs a lot, easy to talk to. Jacqui-always laughing and has a smile on her face. she is a real sweetie. I wish I could still remember handwriting so that I would know who wrote what. They make is sound like I was laughing and blushing way to much.

I have many more thoughts in my head. Mom always says tell me your memories. I just wish that I could get them out of my head in an organized fashion. Right now, I will close with this and do a little work to keep warm. I have to say, I am TIRED of this cold!! Till next time...

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Sunday, January 28, 2007

This will be a quick entry. I spent a great part of this day working on this little album that I started for my postcards. I enjoy looking at them and now it will be easier and more organized. The photos are not great, but it gives you an idea. Till next time...
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Falling snow

I have been in a strange mood today. I have gone into that world where my thoughts are full of memories. I played with putting postcards, that have been sent to my by a dear friend, into an album. I have always been so surprised every time she remembers me as she has gone on her travels. I sat upstairs and watched the snow come down in those big fluffy snowflakes. John had to work most of the day, but I was very happy to see him come home. Tessa really did NOT want to do anything asked of her. It is the one stress that I really do NOT know what to do with. I know my mother prays for me, some days I can feel that those prayers were what got me thought. I know that this depression is only for a season and then I will come out of the fog. For now, I just take one day at a time! Till next time...

Saturday, January 27, 2007

John found this and shared it with me.

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January 27, 2007

I was up early and then went back to wait for the house to wake up. The wind is really hard today and it found it necessary to spill out my recycling on the step. I am just happy that it did NOT go down the street, but stayed near by. We plan to just say in where it is warm and enjoy the day. If I had only bought the dog food yesterday we would really NOT need to go out. Julie did NOT show up today so we can safely assume that she got into this Pracs study! I am very happy for her. I guess I will close for now as I need to go and cut paper for John's photo album. Till next time...

Friday, January 26, 2007

2-Tone Dessert

1 cup. Flour

1/2 cup nuts

1/2 cup butter

Mix these three ingredients and press into a 9x13 pan. Bake 10-15 minutes at 350*. Cool. Beat 8 ounces cream cheese and 1 cup powdered sugar. Fold in one large cool whip. Spread on crust. Mix two packages of instant pudding (any flavor) with 21/2 cup milk. Spread on top of cream cheese mixture and cool whip. Will freeze well.

Tessa was very curious as to what this was. She did NOT know you could make more than cakes in cake pans. She wanted to help as KNOW she feels like she knows how to cook. I guess she is like you Mom, she like raw nuts. I was thinking YUCK as I watched her eat a pecan or two.

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Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Prison Break

A man escapes from a prison where he's been locked up for 15 years.
He breaks into a house to look for money and guns. Inside, he finds
a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to
a chair.

While tying the home owner's wife to the bed, the convict gets on top of
her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom.
While he's in there, the husband whispers over to his wife:
"Listen, this guy is an escaped convict. Look at his clothes! He's probably
spent a lot of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he
kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don't resist, don't whatever
he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you.
This guy is obviously very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us
both. Be strong, honey. I love you!"

His wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering
in my ear. He told me that he's gay, thinks you're cute, and asked
if we had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong.
I love you, too.

January 24, 2007

At 4:30am I was woke up to the shrill sound of a alarm going off.  It scared me and I had to give John a swift kick to see if he had heard it. (well, maybe not a real kick more like an elbow!) It turned out to be the Carbon Monoxide alarm showing an error message. I have a feeling it is wearing out. I am now fighting that urge to go and take a nap.  The sun is NOT shining and it is just perfect for a snooze.  I have spent the morning working on those spots on the carpet that the dog and the hair color caused.  I am afraid I am stuck with them. I know this is NOT a very exciting entry, but you know life is NOT always exciting! I am just glad that we are all healthy and able to do what is needed to get throught the day! Hope all is well with you. Till next time...

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Before and After

I have been asked for before and after of the hair adventure, so here they are! I am sure that John does NOT look forward to the next time. Till next time...
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Monday, January 22, 2007

Brian Hester invited his mother over for dinner. During the course of
the meal, Brian's mother couldn't help but keep noticing how beautiful
Brian's roommate, Stephanie, was. Mrs. Hester had long been suspicious of a
relationship between Brian and Stephanie, and this had only made her more
curious. Over the course of the evening, while watching the two react, Mrs.
Hester started to wonder if there was more between Brian and Stephanie,
than met the eye.

Reading his mom's thoughts, Brian volunteered, "I know what you must be
thinking, but I assure you Stephanie and I are just roommates."

About a week later, Stephanie came to Brian saying, "Ever since your
mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the beautiful silver gravy
ladle. You don't suppose she took it, do you?"

Brian said, "Well, I doubt it, but I'll send her an e-mail just to be sure."

So he sat down and wrote:
Dear Mother,
I'm not saying that you "did" take the gravy
ladle from the house, I'm not saying that you "did not"take
the gravy ladle. But the fact remains that one
has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.

Love, Brian

Several days later, Brian received a letter from his mother that read:
Dear Son,
I'm not saying that you "do" sleep with Stephanie,
and I'm not saying that you "do not" sleep
with Stephanie. But the fact remains that if she
was sleeping in her own bed, she would have
found the gravy ladle by now.

Love, Mom

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Sunday, January 21, 2007

Last night my darling John colored my hair. It needed a second coat and so he did it again. My poor carpet will never be the same. I think if you use your imagination, you can guess what happened! Tessa does NOT like my hair. She thinks the ends are INVISIBLE. I just love the way she has at making me feel good. I took before and after photos so you can see the attempt to do something different.
This morning the speaker at Church was Superintendent Freitag. He was speaking on the Rapture. He asked how many of us had seen the movie 'Thief in the Night'. He thought they needed to start showing that one again. He told of how when he was a kid and his parents would not get home on time that he would worry about having been left behind. I had to smile as I remember having those thoughts. I had seen that movie at least 2 times when I used to go to Asbury Camp.
I had the best blessing today. One of Tessa's friends wanted her to come and play at her house. The mother was all for it and all I could say was that 'You have No idea what a blessing this is!' John had to work most of the day. I just enjoyed the silence of the house!! I am excited that tomorrow I get to go with a friend to her Doctor when she hears the heartbeat for the first time. I am really excited to be able to do this. I hope everyone had a great weekend! Till next time...
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Saturday, January 20, 2007

Time alone

John and I did something today that we never do. We went out by ourselves to do a bit of shopping and just to look around. I have to say that it was such a wonderful time. I asked John if he thought I was more relaxed than I usually am. He thought for a few minutes and said yes! He had left Tessa a list of things to get done. Well, she did some of it, but as of yet I am a bit nervous to actually go upstairs to see what was done up there. I decided to put in a movie and just relax before supper. This day has left a smile on my face. Till next time...

Finished project

Tessa finished her project that I had helped on a few times. They were not able to use them for Artwise as they kept falling off the cards. I am NOT really sure that the color of the beads comes through very well. She also designed her pattern before the beading started! Till next time...

Alicia's Birthday

Yesterday was Alicia's birthday. I find it so hard to believe that my daughter is NOW 25.I am must not going to think how old I am getting.She took off part of the day, so we were able to spend a relaxed lunch and not have to hurry to get her back to work. She is going to Fargo with her hubby for the night.The flowers in the photo with her were given to her at work.She is just going to keep them at work as her house gets to warm for them.

Today I am hoping to go shopping with John and leave the little miss at home for a little bit.It is just so much easier to be shop when she is NOT along.I was the first one awake this morning and I had over an hour of quiet to myself.It really is heavenly to have complete silence until Tessa wakes up and turns on that darn TV.I hope you all are having a great weekend. Till next time...

Thursday, January 18, 2007

Dad, this is more for you. I left the house for a few hours. I had the fun job of getting some shopping done. Alicia has her birthday tomorrow and she will be 25. I am in a bit of amazement that I have a daughter that old. I get to have lunch with her tomorrow and then she will go to Fargo with Gregg for the weekend. I am tired and ready to say good night for this day. I woke up at 4:30am and I really wish I would NOT have! TIll next time...

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

I did NOT get a chance to even attempt to write here yesterday. My morning started off with a Doctor's appointment and then well NOT really liking what I heard. I am really curious how much this little visit will cost as he hardly saw me for 5 minutes. Just long enough to say I needed a sleep test and if I have sleep apnea he says I will have to wear a mask to bed. I DO NOT LIKE THINGS ON MY FACE!! Then he proceeded to tell me if the mask did NOT work then their were surgical options, one being to have my stomach banded. You have NO idea how shocked I was by that. I called my sister-in-law and kind of just vented some of my frustrating thoughts.
I was so sure that I would be dead tired all day as I had gotten up at 4am to be with Brenna before she went back to school. Somehow I managed to keep awake, it probably helps to have Alicia come for lunch and then I had to make my second trip of the day to the post office to send on the books for school that Brenna had mistakenly had sent here. I know she was so frustrated by that, but sometimes that is life.
John is working long hours and really when he comes home just wants to sit and NOT talk. You all know that is hard for me, as I love to talk when I have an adult around me. IT is NOT the same when it is just Nakita and I. Today Tessa is home as she is NOT feeling well. I just hope I do NOT get to frustrated. I did tell her "NO TV!"
Alicia turns 25 on Friday, how can I have a child that old? I hope to go to lunch with her as she and Gregg are going to Fargo for the weekend. I guess at this point I do NOT know what they are doing with Mariah. I think I will sign off for a bit and try to tackle my table mess again. Till next time...

Monday, January 15, 2007

Sunday, January 14, 2007

Julie, I am sorry, but I just love to try out these different fonts. The font does not show in blogger, I guess that is ok. I know how this drives you crazy. I am finally going to upload this photo of a little hanging plague that my sister-in-law gave me as a joke. I am NOT a dull woman and my family knows this. I just cannot let the state of my house stress me out. I have enough other things to worry myself with, such as how to pay the next bill.
Take for instance, John finally clipped Nakita’s nails. This was a lesson learned, make sure you have a good hold on her. She jumped back and one was cut rather short. The drops of blood all through my house were not something that put a smile on my face. My neighbor will eventually have to come in here and clean my carpet!
I asked Alicia why we sometimes had such a problem with people becoming overly attached to us. Her answer to this is that we did NOT judge. I don’t know what the real answer is. I just know that Alicia and I are very similar in personality and being nice is sometimes not such a good quality.
This was another Sunday that I did NOT make it to church. Tessa seems to have acquired the same bug her dad had all last week. I am just praying that I am able to keep from getting it. It is a good thing that tomorrow there is NO school. She can rest more and not have to go outside. We are having some bitterly cold weather right now. I am happiest if I do not have to go out in it. I need to get back to scanning some old photos so that I can give them back to my mother.Till next time..

Peanut Butter Cocoa Fudge

Brenna made this for Christmas and I really liked the taste of this fudge, NOT to chocolaty. She found this in the magazine Quick Cooking. I hope you enjoy!

Peanut Butter Cocoa Fudge

1 cup + 3 Tbsp crunchy peanut butter
1 cup butter (no substitutes)
31/2 cup confectioner’s sugar
3 Tbsp baking cocoa
1 Tbsp vanilla extract

In a saucepan, combine peanut butter and butter. Cook and stir over medium heat until blended. Remove from the heat, stir in confectioner’s sugar, cocoa, and vanilla. Spread into a buttered 8-in square pan. Freeze for 30 minutes or just until firm before cutting into squares. Store at room temperature.

Serves: 2lbs.

Saturday, January 13, 2007

Well, the sun is shining but that is the only thing good about the weather today. Alicia called to say it was SO cold out. Mariah had a birthday party so Alicia was going to have a couple of hours to herself to look around and shop. I guess the party was at Michaels and now it slips my mind what exactly they were going to make.
Mom is in town and wants to eat lunch with us. It will not be till maybe 2pm, so I know my little miss will have to snack before that time. John is feeling a better and actually interested in going on the computer. He had not touched it in a few days and that is very unusual for him.
I am just trying to stay awake, my mind is not being used enough to keep me awake. Tessa is wanting to make fudge later. You know that none of need that, but she is just dying to do it. I guess I will let her do this later. Hope you are having a great weekend. Till next time..

Friday, January 12, 2007

This will be short and sweet. This day has left me frustrated!! I just can not seem to get done everything that I want to. I keep trying to organize all my papers and I feel like they just keep going round and round and never get any more organized! I thought, once I got Tessa home I could relax. NO, the phone kept ringing and so I had to give up on that.

Going out to get the groceries to try and save doing that with everyone tomorrow was really not what I like to do. This lady in front of me had her cart so full that when she left she had 2 carts. She turned to say, "Never go shopping when you are hungry!" I am very well that it is NOT a good thing to do. I was actually kind of excited to find Blood Oranges for Tessa. Mom is coming down to hear someone. I know she would like me to go. I have NO idea when John will get home, so I never make plans to go anywhere. Now to figure out something for supper. Isn't life exciting!? Till next time...

Thursday, January 11, 2007

A memory pops into my head

I am standing doing dishes and this thought crosses my mind. I often wonder why I think the way I do, but at this stage in life I am not going to worry about it. I had this memory of being on a trip with my family. We are in the old blue Dodge van and it is late at night. I wish I could remember what trip we are on. I just know that we are having a hard time finding a motel room. My Dad is driving and I decided to go up and keep him awake.

He is probably thinking, "I wish that girl would go back to sleep and let me drive in peace!" I am thinking to myself, "I have to keep him awake so he does not kill us if he falls asleep!" I have a feeling this is after the trip with Grandpa Glenn where he got a bit drowsy and tried to drive the Motor home into the median. NOT GOOD!! SOOO Dad, if you have any memories of this annoying moment, I sure would like to hear your thoughts or if you even remember me bugging you late one night while you are driving! Till the next memory pops into my head!
I know they said it was going to be cold today. I am so NOT happy they were telling the truth. I woke up to 12 degree and now it is -4 and still falling. I have tried to think of what to write here all day. My life is really not full of excitement. My only contact with the outside world is sometimes through the Internet. I had to go searching for something that I had found funny in the past. The Texas Chili Contest entry before this one was what I found! I know, you are probably wondering what I find funny in this little story. I have NO idea if it is true, and I seriously doubt that it could possibly be. All that I know, is that it has made me LAUGH every time I have read it! I actually wonder what my Dad will think when he sees this one? I hope you cracked just a little smile. I know that you are all worried about me for never leaving the house. I am OK, most of the time. I think that is all I have to say for now. Till next time...

Texas Chili Contest

If you can read this whole story without laughing (or crying) then there's no hope for you.
Note: Please take time to read this slowly. If you pay attention to the first two judges, the reaction of the third judge is even better. For those of you who have lived in Texas, you know how true this is. They actually have a Chili Cook-off about the time Halloween comes around. It takes up a major portion of parking lot at the San Antonio City Park.
Judge #3 was an inexperienced Chili taster named Frank, who was visiting from Springfield, IL.
Says Frank: “Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge’s table asking for directions to the Coors Light truck, when the call came in. I was assured by the other two judges (Native Texans) that the chili wouldn't be all that spicy and, besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted”.
Here are the scorecard notes from the event:
Judge #1 - A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick.
Judge #2 - Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild.
Judge #3 - (Frank) - Holy shit, what the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the flames out. I hope that’s the worst one. These Texans are crazy.
Judge #1 - Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight jalapẽno tang.
Judge #2 - Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken seriously.
Judge #3 - Keep this out of the reach of children. I’m not sure what I’m supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver. They had to rush in more beer when they saw the look on my face.
Judge #1 - Excellent firehouse chili. Great kick.
Judge #2 - A bit salty, good use of peppers.
Judge #3 - Call the EPA. I’ve located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now. Get me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back, now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting shit-faced from all the beer.
Judge #1 - Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.
Judge #2 - Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods, not much of a chili.
Judge #3 - I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it. Is it possible to burn out taste buds? Sally the beer maid was standing behind me with fresh refills. That 300lb woman is starting to look HOT...just like this nuclear waste I’m eating! Is chili an aphrodisiac?
Judge #1 - Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very impressive.
Judge #2 - Chili using shredded beef, could use more tomato. Must admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement.
Judge #3 - My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from the pitcher. I wonder if I'm burning my lips off. It really pisses me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming. Screw those rednecks.
Judge #1 - Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spices and peppers.
Judge #2 - The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions and garlic. Superb.
Judge #3 - My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulfuric flames. I shit myself when I farted and I’m worried it will eat through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that Sally. Can’t feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe my ass with a snow cone.
Judge #1 - A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.
Judge #2 - Ho hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili peppers at the last moment. **I should take note that I am worried about Judge #3. He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably.
Judge #3 - You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I wouldn’t feel a thing. I’ve lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili, which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava to match my shirt. At least during the autopsy, they’ll know what killed me. I’ve decided to stop breathing it’s too painful. Screw it; I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I’ll just suck it in through the 4-inch hole in my stomach.
Judge #1 - The perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili. Not too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence.
Judge #2 - This final entry is a good, balanced chili. Neither mild nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge #3 farted, passed out, fell over and pulled the chili pot down on top of himself. Not sure if he’s going to make it. Poor feller, wonder how he'd have reacted to really hot chili?
Judge #3 - No Report

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let you down probably will. You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it's harder every time. You'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken. You'll fight with your best friend. You'll blame a new love for things an old one did. You'll cry because time is passing too fast, and you'll eventually lose someone you love. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back.
Don't be afraid that your life will end, be afraid that it will never begin


It has been days since I have really written much. How do I recap all that has been my life? The bullriding with Brenna was for me so enjoyable. I was clueless on how they make points, for me it was just being with Brenna!! I also just love to watch people. Does anyone else like to do that? Julie came on Monday, her 33rd birthday! We ate lunch with my daughters and then she went shopping with Brenna. My mother called as she always does and asked if we were having a good bonding moment? UMMM? Well, I am here alone, but I am sure that Brenna and Julie are. I was right, of course!!

I have to say that I am rather relieved that what I write here should never cause anyone to send me hate mail. Julie has now picked up the name Prairie Princess, from what I can only call an odd set of circumstances. I really do NOT understand people, the need to put others down for the benefit of making themselves look better. Why are so called christians often the worst example of what Jesus meant us to be? Would someone please explain that to me!!! I have to say that Julie has a gift with words, I am sure if she is reading this she rolls her eyes at all the gramatical errors. I had to smile as I wrote that on.

Tessa was able to bake with her sister Brenna. They made a crazy cake for Julie's birthday. Last night I was feeling tired or down or something and someone said to go and rest a bit. Tessa wanted to cook, so as I lay on the couch and listened to her figure out what to do. Her grandmother has given her cookbooks the last couple of christmases. She did great and there were NO burning dish rags this time!!

John has NOT been feeling well the last couple of days. I find myself just leaving him alone, but in the end I have to fight to NOT feel disconnected from him. Life is really NOT so easy sometimes. I am have a hard time with goodbyes. When Brenna left yesterday for college, I had to fight the tears. I was just so glad that Julie was still there to keep my feet on the ground! She wanted to go out for lunch again, so we picked up Alicia and had a great hour. I know that we were the oddest looking threesome. One in camo's, one dressed for business, and the other in a dress and I will NOT finish the rest. I think as long as we enjoyed our time together, who cares what anyone else thought. Well, time to face my paper mess on the table. SOOO, not my favorite activity! I hope I do NOT have a bunch of spelling errors as that spell check will not work!! Till next time...

Monday, January 08, 2007

A fresh week, with Brenna here and Julie coming. I can not ask for anything else. Well, maybe John feeling better would be nice. Right now I am trying to get my brain to wake up. The irony of this is at night I can not get it to shut off. UGH!!
I really am having trouble thinking of what to say. I guess that means I will have to try to do this at another time!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY JULS! Till next time...
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Sunday, January 07, 2007

This will be a quick entry. Brenna was able to come home yesterday. She wanted to see a friend from South Dakota ride in this bull riding competition. I agreed to go with her and actually really enjoyed myself. I plan to just enjoy as much time with her as I possible can in the short time she is here. Julie is to come on Monday, so who knows what kind of trouble we can get into. Till next time...
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Friday, January 05, 2007

I was so excited to find this, my favorite quote. I just had to share it here!
HOT Myspace Layouts

Why is it that we like Fridays? Why are they better than Mondays? I am always excited to be at the end of the week, even though my days are all the same. They kind of run together and I laugh sometimes when I read my past diaries as many days are all the same! The weather is mentioned and the usual, I washed clothes, dishes and cleaned in the house. THERE HAS TO BE MORE TO LIFE THAN THIS!!

I am still trying to figure out what my purpose for being here is? Is it enough to be someones wife, mother, sister, daughter? Can I just be happy being a good friend? Does anyone else get restless and just want to kind of run away from life? Have a change of scenery for even a few days? I have just done to all of you what I do to John. I have just hit you with my 20 questions and he really does NOT like that! Well, I should say, it depends on the time of day when I hit him with those. Hmm, I wonder where all these words came from? Well, I need to do something useful and sitting here playing on the computer maybe isn't it! Till next time...
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Wednesday, January 03, 2007

Just Because

This day had 2 great moments for me, one was the hour long massage and the other my surprise. I am out shoveling snow and watch this van pull up into my driveway. I just assume she is going to my neighbor house. Imagine my shock when she walks to my door, and with flowers none the less!

I could NOT imagine who would send me flowers. The card said it was from JULIE! I have to assume it is my sister and I have NO idea why she was so sweet to me. I have to admit it really did put a smile on my face. Thanks so much for making my day!!
This arrived in my email and I could not help but smile. Sorry for the ONE word some might frown at!

A lady walked into a Harley Davidson dealership just to browse.
Almost immediately, she spotted the most beautiful new Fat Boy bike that she
had ever seen, and walked over to inspect it. As she bent forward to feel the
fine leather seat, an unexpected little fart escaped her. Embarrassed, she
anxiously looked around to see if anyone had noticed, and hoped a sales person
didn't pop up right then. But, as she turned back, there, standing next to her,
was a salesman.

With a pleasant smile he greeted her, "Good day, Madame. How may we help
you today?"

Trying to maintain an air of sophistication and acting as though nothing
had happened, she smiled back and asked, "Sir, what is the price of this

Still smiling pleasantly, he replied, "Madame, I'm very sorry to say
that if you farted just by touching it, you're going to shit when you hear the

Tuesday, January 02, 2007

Tomorrow is another day full of new possibilities. I have the hope that I will do better with the time I have been blessed with. I can not say I have enjoyed this Christmas vacation. I have found myself upstairs in Brenna's room almost hiding. It is the one place in the house that I feel like I have some control. IT is NOT much, but has become so important to me. Is it possible to feel the presence of Heavenly Father in one place over another? Do the prayers that my daughter prayed still ring in this room? The verses that she has hanging on the walls are always a comfort to my soul. The photo I have included shows what I am talking about.

Please do NOT misunderstand me, I am aware of my blessings. Satan would try to take away any peace I have. It is a battle and without Jesus on my side I would perish! I have a praying mother and I know I had a praying Grandmother. I truly believe those prayers are what is getting through this difficult time in my life. I know that every experience we have is planned, I would just like to avoid some of these experiences.

When John says I need to adjust my meds I am sure it is a kind way of saying, all is NOT right. I feel like the weight of the world rests on my shoulders and it is NOT supposed to be like that. I actually get so angry with what I see and hear everyday. I do NOT have to leave my house for the ugliness of the world to reach me. Boy, for some reason I really need to get these thought out of my head and then maybe I will feel better.

Is it my imagination, or does there seem to be a, how should I put this, a heavy push of things sexual. Is it just that I have taken my head out of the sand and am letting the world touch me? I had always enjoyed a bit of innocence, NOT anymore! The depravity that is in this place that so many call home really blows my mind. I can not even put into words all that I would like, I might give my parents a heart attack. HI DAD! It is the love of family that truly keeps me going some days. We all have our struggles, the things we would like to change in our lives. This race we are running can sure wear a person out. I think I will close for now! Till next time...


Up there by Lake Woebegone it was snowing heavily and blowing to the
point that visibility was almost zero when Lena got off work. She made
her way to her car and wondered how she was going to make it home.

She sat in her car while it warmed up and thought about her situation.
She remembered Ole's advice that if she got caught in a blizzard, she
should wait for a snow plow to come by and follow it. That way she would
not get stuck in a snow drift. This made Lena feel much better and sure
enough in a little while, a snow plow went by, and she started to follow it.

As she followed the snow plow, she was feeling very smug as they
continued, and she was not having any problem with the blizzard conditions.
After quite sometime had passed, she was somewhat surprised when the
snow plow stopped and the driver got out and came back to her car and
signaled her to roll down her window.

The snow plow driver wanted to know if she was all right, as she had been
following him for a long time. She said that she was fine and told him of
Ole's advice to follow a snow plow when caught in a blizzard. The driver
replied that it was OK with him, and she could continue if she wanted...but
he was done with the Wal-Mart parking lot and was going over to Kmart next.

Monday, January 01, 2007

Vacation is drawing to a close

Tessa and I have enjoyed these past few days of quiet. She busy building with Lego's and I just working on my photos. I have let John drive the car to work so I really can NOT go anywhere. My family knows that I really am happiest when I can just be at home. Tessa did enjoy sometime out in the snow with her little friend. I enjoyed the QUIET. I am not used to having the TV on so much. This evening was spent watching another movie that John had taped. One of the good Hallmark movies, "The Christmas Card." I hope the new year is agreeing with everyone so far. Till next time...