Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Voices from the past

I am really not sure how to put into words what I have felt as I looked through old letters and cards. The Internet has taken away the personal feel of getting a letter in the mail. I had forgotten that Alicia would write to me when she did NOT feel like I was hearing her. Why is it so much easier to write down our feelings than actually speak them out loud?

I found the card that I was given after Grandma O'Brien gave to all of us after she died. I still have NOT been able to read it as I know the tears will come. The notes from my sisters when they were very young. I had to laugh at some of the spelling in them. I think what made me so sad was how I had lost contact with some of these friends. How does that really happen? So we really get that busy that we can NOT stop for a few minutes and jot down a few words to send to them?

I was just reading I think the last letter of Grandma Helen's that I had received. She was so distressed that she was NOT able to give out gifts like she used to. She mentioned being tired of having to worry about the tubing when she moved around. I do NOT have memory of this tubing that she had for her oxygen. I must have NOT been home during that time. If only I could tell her the gifts did NOT matter only having her was important. I am always compared to my Grandma Helen, maybe I am like her, who knows?

I also found this card of Janet's that I must have kept pinned on a bulletin board at one time. She had put this poem in it that a friend of hers had written. I do NOT know what the date is that it was sent, or what kind of struggle I was going through, but I have an idea. The words will NOT be put here as they are private, but she has no idea how much they mean even now!

I had to smile when this letter from when I was going to college at LRJC appeared in the pile. I think one day in class we were told to write something about everyone in the room and then the comments were all given to us. Here is the list of comments: Jacqui-very nice, blushes a lot dresses casually, Jacqui-looks like the outgoing type, likes to joke around, likes to party,Jacqui-very outgoing, in between introvert and extrovert,Jacqui-fun to be with, emotional, likes to talk, considerate of others feelings,Jacqui-has a notorious laugh or a laugh like she knows "something is cooking", blushes , probably more reserved in class, Jacqui-fun to be around, nice personality, Jacqui-warm person. Pretty smile, type of person that you can sit down and talk to. Jacqui-a homey type, has a laugh that makes you want to laugh too. friendly, Jacqui-laughs a lot, easy to talk to. Jacqui-always laughing and has a smile on her face. she is a real sweetie. I wish I could still remember handwriting so that I would know who wrote what. They make is sound like I was laughing and blushing way to much.

I have many more thoughts in my head. Mom always says tell me your memories. I just wish that I could get them out of my head in an organized fashion. Right now, I will close with this and do a little work to keep warm. I have to say, I am TIRED of this cold!! Till next time...

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