Thursday, January 31, 2008

Quotes I Found Today.

Some people spend an entire lifetime wondering if they made a difference in the world. But, the Marines don't have that problem.
Ronald Reagan, President of the United States; 1985

"If we ever forget that we're One Nation Under God, then we will be a nation gone under." Also by.. Ronald Reagan

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

January 29, 2008

This past weekend was quiet and yet I am not complaining. Julie did her good deed for the year. She was gracious enough to take Tessa to that Chipmonk movie. Since John was not feeling well, I went to a movie by myself, 'Cloverfield'. I had to laugh, more than I went to grab John and then realized I was sitting there alone. I really like that new theater on the east side, River Cinema.

John has spent so much time figuring out that new phone. I have to laugh when I see him with it. His hands looks so large in comparison to it. The weather this weekend was so nice. It gives a person hope that Spring will eventually get here.

Alicia and Mariah were in town Saturday and stopped by. She did some work on the internet before leaving for home. I know she wishes they could get access to the internet at home. I hope that it happens for them in the near future.

I hear Tessa's alarm going off. I guess my quiet is about to end. This is my long day, and since it is supposed to be so cold out, I really do NOT want to have to leave the house. Hope you all have a great day! Till next time...

Sunday, January 27, 2008

WHY GOD MADE MOMS

Answers given by 2nd grade school children to the following questions:

Why did God make mothers?

1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
2. Mostly to clean the house.
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.


How did God make mothers?

1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.


What ingredients are mothers made of ?

1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.


Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?

1. We're related.
2. God knew she like s me a lot more than other people's moms like me.


What kind of little girl was your mom?

1. My Mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.
2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
3. They say she used to be nice.


What did mom need to know about dad before she
married him?

1. His last name.
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?


Why did your mom marry your dad?

1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a lot.
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
3. My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on.


Who's the boss at your house?

1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball.
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.


What's the difference between moms & dads?

1. Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work.
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's.
4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.


What does your mom do in her spare time?

1. Mothers don't do spare time.
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.


What would it take to make your mom perfect?

1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
2. Diet. You know her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.

If you could change one thing about your mom,
what would it be?

1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.
2. I'd make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.
3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.

Friday, January 25, 2008

January 25, 2008

Max wanted to get to the Schwan Man. He did not really notice that gate until I crossed over it and then it was of interest to him. Tessa thought it was funny to make his ears lay back for this photo. He is just to cute for his own good. Tessa posed with him by the window the other day. He is growing way to fast.

Thursday, January 24, 2008

Watching

This photo was taken Tuesday. I was sitting in my rocking chair when all of the sudden Max jumped up to the window to look out. He is growing so fast, but still finds this quite a stretch. Good night everyone!

More politically correct

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND
BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. He does not have a 'BEER GUT' - He has developed a
'LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.'

2. He is not a 'BAD DANCER' - He is 'OVERLY CAUCASIAN.'

3. He does not 'GET LOST ALL THE TIME' - He 'INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.'

4. He is n ot 'BALDING' - He is in 'FOLLICLE REGRESSION.'

5. He is not a 'CRADLE ROBBER' - He prefers 'GENERATIONAL DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS.'

6. He does not get 'FALLING-DOWN DRUNK' - He becomes 'ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL. '


7. He does not act like a 'TOTAL ASS' - He develops a case of 'RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.'

8 He is not a 'MALE CHAUVINIST PIG' - He has 'SWINE EMPATHY.'

9. He is not afraid of 'COMMITMENT' - He is 'RELATIONSHIP CHALLENGED.'

10. He is not 'HORNY' - He is 'SEXUALLY FOCUSED.'

11. It's not his 'CRACK' you see hanging out of his pants - It's 'REAR CLEAVAGE '



More politically correct

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY
CORRECT:

1. She is not a 'BABE' or a 'CHICK' - She is a
'BREASTED AMERICAN.'

2. She is not a 'SCREAMER' or a 'MOANER' - She is 'VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE.'

3. She is not 'EASY' - She is 'HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.'

4. She is not a 'DUMB BLONDE' - She is a 'LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.'

5. She has not 'BEEN AROUND' - She is a 'PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION.'

6. She is not an 'AIRHEAD' - She is 'REALITY
IMPAIRED.'

7. She does not get 'DRUNK' or 'TIPSY' - She gets 'CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED'

8. She does not have 'BREAST IMPLANTS' - She is 'MEDICALLY ENHANCED.'

9. She does not 'NAG' you - She becomes 'VERBALLY REPETITIVE.'

10. She is not a 'TRAMP' - She is 'SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED.'

11. She does not have 'MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS' - She is 'PECTORALLY SUPERIOR.'

12 She is not a 'TWO-BIT HOOKER' - She is a 'LOW COST PROVIDER.'


Politically Correct

Due
to the climate of political correctness now pervading
America , Kentuckians,
Tennesseans and
West Virginians will no longer be referred to as
'HILLBILLIES.'

You
must now refer to us as APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS.

Just a little silliness I found in emails this morning.

Sunday, January 20, 2008

Sermon

The Sermon I think this Mom will never forget.... this particular Sunday sermon..."Dear Lord," the minister began, with arms extended toward heaven and a rapturous look on his upturned face. "Without you, we are but dust..." He would have continued but at that moment my very obedient daughter who was listening leaned over to me and asked quite audibly in her shrill little four year old girl voice,

Mom, what is butt dust?"

Afternoon Together

One thing about winter, we get to spend most of our time indoors playing together. Tessa likes to play with her dad on the DS. It is really nice when the games will let the two of them play together through WI-FI.

Saturday, January 19, 2008

Forgotten Item

Last night when I was writing, I forgot to mention that Brenna was given a promotion this week. For the life of me, I can not remember what it is though. You will have to ask her about it. 'Mom, you have to pray for me everyday!' That is what I was told after the news. Is everyone stay warm? -19 is crazy! Ok, I guess I need to get off here and stop messing around. Till next time...

Friday, January 18, 2008

Have you ever wondered what idiots look like?

January 18, 2008

Every day this week, I wanted to sit down here and write something. Every night by the time I could, my mind had gone TIRED! Mom, with your stories you tell me in the afternoon, you really should write them down so that others can read them. The conversation we had on Monday stayed with me for days. I kept thinking what a delicious sense of humor HE has, placing a Muslim and a Christian exchange student in the same home.

I had to laugh when I noticed a friends message on MSN. 'IT"S SNOWING', he lives in Atlanta, Georgia. His son had hoped they would NOT have school that day. His worry was black ice later.

My afternoons can sometimes be rather LOUD! Two dogs in a small house, running and nipping at each other. I am still waiting for Nakita to put that little pup in his place. I always have the kennels when it gets to be too much.

Tomorrow is Alicia's birthday. Where have the last 26 years gone? They plan to go to Fargo to do a bit of shopping. Gregg and Lori get to have Mariah and Max visit for the day. (I hope it all goes well!) Tessa hopes to see her, so not sure what is going to happen.

As you can see Julie-Ann, life is pretty quiet here. I always look forward to the evening when everyone is safely home and we can enjoy the quiet. Hope you all stay safe and warm this weekend. Till next time...

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Mohawk

I took my dad to the mall the other day to buy some new shoes.
We decided to grab a bite at the food court. I noticed he was
watching a
teenager sitting next to him. The teenager had spiked hair in
all different colors: green, red, orange and blue. My dad kept
staring at
him. The teenager would look and find him staring every
time.

When the teenager had enough, he sarcastically asked, 'What's
the matter old man, never done anything wild in your life?'

His response: 'Got drunk once and had sex with a peacock. I
was just wondering if you were my son.'

Saturday, January 12, 2008

New Toy

I was in Michael's today and of course found something new to try. It is really more of something for Tessa to play with, but I could NOT help myself. I gave the new product a whirl once I got home. Tessa came out to see what it did exactly, and then made a comment that I just had to laugh over. 'I do not like it to get messy!' She was referring to the cutting board having the impression of the image that was just cut out on top of it. I always say that she is so much like her father, which of course she is!! She comes up with these remarks and I am reminded sadly that she also has my hangups. This week another one showed up, she had borrowed a book to one of my coworkers, and just asked that she be very careful with her book. This person decided that she did NOT dare bring the book home in case her children messed it up. This little tendency for our books to stay as pristine as possible must be a family trait. YOU KNOW WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT JULS!

John found a game for our DS that he just knew I would like. POOL! I know that later we will be giving it a try. Mom, you will never believe what we saw in Walmart, a John Deere Calendar. I told Alicia about it, as she happened to be there just looking at baby things. She wants to register soon for things she would like. Susan, what was the car seat that you did not like? I keep telling her to ask you.

Tessa was invited to a hockey game tonight with a friend. She will have to tell what it is like as I have never been to one. Well, at least not with the men. OK, time to get something done today. Till next time...

Friday, January 11, 2008

Hooked on Phonics

Into every lesson a little humor must fall...

Jake is 5 and learning to read.

He points at a picture in a zoo book and says, 'Look Mama! It's a
frickin' Elephant!'

Deep breath ... 'What did you call it?'

'It's a frickin' Elephant, Mama! It says so on the picture!'

and so it does ....

'A f r i c a n Elephant'

Hooked on phonics!!! Ain't it wonderful?

Briefly

While Julie was here, much barking was going on. She has been gone for a couple of hours and quiet has been restored. I think part of the reason is that Max has run out of steam. Tessa did not come home right away and this was the scene just before she came through the door.Nakita is actually watching Tessa walk up to the house. I am sure she was relieved to not have someone climbing up on her. I have not been able to capture that moment yet. Have a great weekend! It is snowing a tiny bit and I look forward to a quiet night here. Till next time...

Wednesday, January 09, 2008

Tickle Me Elmo


Glitterfy.com - Glitter Graphics

There is a factory in Northern Minnesota which makes
the Tickle Me Elmo toys. The toy laughs when you tickle
it under the arms.

Well, Lena is hired at The Tickle Me Elmo factory and
she reports for her first day promptly at 8:00 AM.
The next day at 8:45 AM there is a knock at the
Personnel Manager's door. The Foreman throws
open the door and begins to rant about the new

employee.

He complains that she is incredibly slow and the whole

line is backing up, putting the entire production line
behind schedule.
The Personnel Manager decides he should see this for
himself, so the 2 men march down to the factory floor.
When they get there the line is so backed up that there
are Tickle Me Elmo's all over the factory floor and they're
really beginning to pile up.

At the end of the line stands Lena surrounded by mountains
of Tickle Me Elmo's. She has a roll of plush
red fabric and a huge bag of small marbles.

The 2 men watch in amazement as she cuts a little piece
of fabric, wraps it around two marbles and begins to
carefully sew the little package between Elmo's legs.


The P personnel Manager bursts into laughter.
After several minutes of hysterics he pulls himself
together and approaches Lena.

'I'm sorry,' he says to her, barely able to keep a straight face,
'but I think you misunderstood the instructions I gave you
yesterday...'

'Your job is to give Elmo two test tickles.


Monday, January 07, 2008

FAITH IS A CANDLE

by HELEN STEINER RICE
IN THIS SICK WORLD OF HATRED
AND VIOLENCE AND SIN,
WHERE MEN RENOUNCE MORALS
AND REJECT DISCIPLINE,
WE STUMBLE IN "DARKNESS"
GROPING VAINLY FOR "LIGHT"
TO DISTINGUISH THE DIFFERENCE
BETWEEN WRONG AND RIGHT,
BUT DAWN CANNOT FOLLOW
THIS NIGHT OF DESPAIR
UNLESS FAITH LIGHTS A CANDLE
IN ALL HEARTS EVERYWHERE
AND WARMED BY THE GLOW
OUR HATE MELTS AWAY
AND LOVE LIGHTS THE PATH
TO A PEACEFUL, NEW DAY.

Saturday, January 05, 2008

January 5, 2008

The house is still quiet here. I am NOT talking anymore than I have to. Julie, I have even tried the salt water, UGH!!! The tylenol with Codeine helps, but only slightly!

Tessa has had my undivided attention this afternoon. I watched Narnia with her and then we all settled in for our favorite, a cheesy Sci-Fi Movie! John and Tessa are chatting back and forth on their DS Lites. Last night I played Trouble with her and Connect Four. I kicked her little butt!

She thinks her throat is starting to hurt, I can only PRAY that she is not going to end up like me. How is your weekend going? Till next time...

Friday, January 04, 2008

January 4, 2008

For the past week I have felt like someone turned my energy to zero. I am just getting by and hate feeling like this. I could hardly sleep last night and I know it is because my throat is SORE! I am not going to whine about it, just stating the facts.

IT was great to see Mom and Dad yesterday for a few minutes and Juls came through on the way to Fargo. We will see her again either Sunday or Monday. She was thrilled with the little birthday gift.

It is only 3:30 and I am in my pj's. Could we please just make this all go away! Tessa is NOT home and that is not helping with my mood. I have to clean out the files in the cabinet. I think I will just take then into the living room later and sit on the floor and try to figure out the mess. It seems like all I do these day is shuffle paper.

The week the vouchers checks had to be stuffed, sealed, and stamped, all 400 of them or so. I think we amazed ourselves at how fast that was done. Then I had the fun job of indexing them into the system. I was so happy to finish the last of them this morning!

There is one thing I really dread doing this weekend, taking down the tree. I LOVE the lights! It always feels so empty when it is done. I hope all of you are doing well! Have a great weekend. Till next time...

Thursday, January 03, 2008