Tomorrow is another day full of new possibilities. I have the hope that I will do better with the time I have been blessed with. I can not say I have enjoyed this Christmas vacation. I have found myself upstairs in Brenna's room almost hiding. It is the one place in the house that I feel like I have some control. IT is NOT much, but has become so important to me. Is it possible to feel the presence of Heavenly Father in one place over another? Do the prayers that my daughter prayed still ring in this room? The verses that she has hanging on the walls are always a comfort to my soul. The photo I have included shows what I am talking about.
Please do NOT misunderstand me, I am aware of my blessings. Satan would try to take away any peace I have. It is a battle and without Jesus on my side I would perish! I have a praying mother and I know I had a praying Grandmother. I truly believe those prayers are what is getting through this difficult time in my life. I know that every experience we have is planned, I would just like to avoid some of these experiences.
When John says I need to adjust my meds I am sure it is a kind way of saying, all is NOT right. I feel like the weight of the world rests on my shoulders and it is NOT supposed to be like that. I actually get so angry with what I see and hear everyday. I do NOT have to leave my house for the ugliness of the world to reach me. Boy, for some reason I really need to get these thought out of my head and then maybe I will feel better.
Is it my imagination, or does there seem to be a, how should I put this, a heavy push of things sexual. Is it just that I have taken my head out of the sand and am letting the world touch me? I had always enjoyed a bit of innocence, NOT anymore! The depravity that is in this place that so many call home really blows my mind. I can not even put into words all that I would like, I might give my parents a heart attack. HI DAD! It is the love of family that truly keeps me going some days. We all have our struggles, the things we would like to change in our lives. This race we are running can sure wear a person out. I think I will close for now! Till next time...
Please do NOT misunderstand me, I am aware of my blessings. Satan would try to take away any peace I have. It is a battle and without Jesus on my side I would perish! I have a praying mother and I know I had a praying Grandmother. I truly believe those prayers are what is getting through this difficult time in my life. I know that every experience we have is planned, I would just like to avoid some of these experiences.
When John says I need to adjust my meds I am sure it is a kind way of saying, all is NOT right. I feel like the weight of the world rests on my shoulders and it is NOT supposed to be like that. I actually get so angry with what I see and hear everyday. I do NOT have to leave my house for the ugliness of the world to reach me. Boy, for some reason I really need to get these thought out of my head and then maybe I will feel better.
Is it my imagination, or does there seem to be a, how should I put this, a heavy push of things sexual. Is it just that I have taken my head out of the sand and am letting the world touch me? I had always enjoyed a bit of innocence, NOT anymore! The depravity that is in this place that so many call home really blows my mind. I can not even put into words all that I would like, I might give my parents a heart attack. HI DAD! It is the love of family that truly keeps me going some days. We all have our struggles, the things we would like to change in our lives. This race we are running can sure wear a person out. I think I will close for now! Till next time...
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