Friday, March 30, 2007
The surgeon said, "I'm sorry. We did all we could, but your boy didn't make it."
Sally said, "Why do little children get cancer? Doesn't God care any more? Where were you, God, when my son needed you?"
The surgeon asked, "Would you like some time alone with your son? One of the nurses will be out in a few minutes, before he's transported to the university."
Sally asked the nurse to stay with her while she said good bye to her son. She ran her fingers lovingly through his thick red curly hair. "Would you like a lock of his hair?" the nurse asked.
Sally nodded yes. The nurse cut a lock of the boy's hair, put it in a plastic bag and handed it to Sally.
The mother said, "It was Jimmy's idea to donate his body to the University for Study. He said it might help somebody else. "I said no at first, but Jimmy said, 'Mom, I won't be using it after I die. Maybe it will help some other little boy spend one more day with his Mom." She went on, "My Jimmy had a heart of gold. Always thinking of someone else. Always wanting to help others if he could."
Sally walked out of Children's Mercy Hospital for the last time, after spending most of the last six months there. She put the bag with Jimmy's belongings on the seat beside her in the car.
The drive home was difficult. It was even harder to enter the empty house. She carried Jimmy's belongings, and the plastic bag with the lock of his hair to her son's room.
She started placing the model cars and other personal things back in his room exactly where he had always kept them. She laid down across his bed and, hugging his pillow, cried herself to sleep.
It was around midnight when Sally awoke. Laying beside her on the bed was a folded letter. The letter said:
"Dear Mom, I know you're going to miss me; but don't think that I will ever forget you, or stop loving you, just 'cause I'm not around to say "I Love You". I will always love you, Mom, even more with each day. Someday we will see each other again. Until then, if you want to adopt a little boy so you won't be so lonely, that's okay with me. He can have my room and old stuff to play with. But, if you decide to get a girl instead, she probably wouldn't like the same things us boys do. You'll have to buy her dolls and stuff girls like, you know. Don't be sad think ing about me. This really is a neat place. Grandma and Grandpa met me as soon as I got here and showed me around some, but it will take a long time to see everything. The angels are so cool. I love to watch them fly. And, you know what? Jesus doesn't look like any of his pictures. Yet, when I saw Him, I knew it was Him. Jesus himself took me to see GOD! And guess what, Mom? I got to sit on God's knee and talk to Him, like I was somebody important. That's when I told Him that I wanted to write you a letter, to tell you good bye and everything. But I already knew that wasn't allowed. Well, you know what Mom? God handed me some paper and His own personal pen to write you this letter. I think Gabriel is the name of the angel who is going to drop this letter off to you. God said for me to give you the answer to one of the questions you asked Him 'Where was He when I needed him?' "Go d said He was in the same place with me, as when His son Jesus was on the cross. He was right there, as He always is with all His children. Oh, by the way, Mom, no one else can see what I've written except you. To everyone else this is just a blank piece of paper. Isn't that cool? I have to give God His pen back now. He needs it to write some more names in the Book of Life. Tonight I get to sit at the table with Jesus for supper. I'm sure the food will be great.
Oh, I almost forgot to tell you. I don't hurt anymore. The cancer is all gone. I'm glad because I couldn't stand that pain anymore and God couldn't stand to see me hurt so much, either. That's when He sent The Angel of Mercy to come get me. The Angel said I was a Special Delivery! How about that?
Signed with Love from God, Jesus & Me.
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
I worked on photo albums last night and listened to John and Tessa play a few games of Connect Four. I think she likes to be sneaking from what John was saying to her. He was tired last night, but gave some of his time to her. I wish she would realize and appreciate that.
I woke up to the sound of rain on the roof. It will be nice for all the dirt to be washed away. I am sure any place dealing with flooding is NOT happy to see this. I drove Tessa to school so that she would not melt. I am sure if she had an umbrella she would have walked.
I had emails from Juls that put a smile on my face. The new phone she has is leaving her kind of confused. I think we can help her with that when we see her at Easter. Brenna and I had a great talk this morning. I am looking forward to seeing her at Easter. I will be relieved when she knows what she is doing and I know she will be also. Hmm, I think I need to close for now. Till next time...
PHILADELPHIA "FRUIT SMOOTHIE" NO-BAKE CHEESECAKE
Prep: 15 minutes plus refrigerating
1 1/2 cups HONEY MAID Graham Cracker Crumbs
1/4 cup (1/2 stick) butter, melted
2 Tbsp. sugar
4 pkg. (8 oz. each) PHILADELPHIA Neufchatel Cheese, 1/3 Less Fat that Cream cheese, softened
1/2 cup sugar
1 pkg. (12 oz.) frozen mixed berries (strawberries, raspberries, blueberries and blackberries), thawed, drained
1 tub (8 oz.) COOL WHIP LITE Whipped Topping, thawed, divided
LINE 13x9-inch baking pan with foil, with ends of foil extending over sides of pan. Mix graham crumbs, butter and 2 Tbsp. sugar; press firmly onto bottom of prepared pan. Refrigerate while preparing filling.
BEAT Neufchatel cheese and 1/2 cup sugar in large bowl with electric mixer on medium speed until well blended. Smash drained berries with fork; stir into cheese mixture. Gently stir in 2 cups of the whipped topping. Spoon over crust; cover.
REFRIGERATE 4 hours or until firm. Use foil handles to remove cheese cake from pan before cutting into pieces to serve. Top with remaining whipped topping. Store leftover in refrigerator.
Makes 16 servings, one piece each.
Monday, March 26, 2007
Sunday, March 25, 2007
Crispy Chicken BLT Salad
Prep:10 minutes Total: 35 minutes
4 small boneless skinless chicken breast halves (1 lb.)
1 pouch Shake 'N Bake Extra Crispy Seasoned Coating Mix
6 cups torn mixed red and green leaf lettuce
1 cup tomato wedges (about 1 medium)
4 slices Oscar Mayer bacon, cooked, crumbled
1/4 cup Kraft Ranch Dressing
1/2 cup Kraft Natural Three Cheese Crumbles
Preheat oven to 400 degrees F. Coat chicken with coating mix as directed on package: place in shallow baking pan.
Bake 20 minutes or until cooked through (170 degrees F). Let stand 5 minutes; cut into slices.
Toss lettuce with tomatoes, bacon and dressing. Spoon evenly onto 4 plates; sprinkle with cheese. Top with chicken.
Makes 4 servings
Friday, March 23, 2007
I am now crutch free and trying to get used to walking normal. I know that sounds rather strange, but apparently I do not step right and am now self conscious of how I walk. I was having panic moments yesterday that are really to hard to explain. It was just me thinking the worst and not letting time show me that maybe I am going to be ok. I have to go back to see the Doc in a month, I hope by then my knee is not still aching every time I take a step.
My therapist just shakes her head at me, and has the hardest time slowing me down. It is hard to change how I move all of the sudden. I am now being put on machines to try and get strenght back in that left leg. John is going to miss going with me to therapy. I will find it strange to not have him standing right beside me telling me to SLOW DOWN!
I have made promises that I would take it easy and NOT try to get my whole house clean in a day. (It would never happen anyways.) I was just so excited to get some of my bathroom cleaned after all this time. I guess I should close as today is errand day. It really is NOT my favorite thing to do and as family knows, Tessa does not make it easy.Till next time...
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
I finally called again so that I could at least say I had tried to get the internet back on. SUCCESS! Life will go to usual now, and I do NOT have to worry about John being sad because he can NOT follow his usual routine. I am off to my puzzle again. Till next time...
Monday, March 19, 2007
I just wrote this entry and then lost it. I guess the rewrite just might be shorter as I loose patience with this. It has already been days since I tried to write and put my thoughts into words, it makes me want to scream when this happens. I have just returned for my visit to the Rehab for therapy. It is going well, even though they are always telling me to SLOW down. My therapist just shakes her head at me. I really do NOT mean to go to fast, it just seems that slow is TOOO slow. I am praying, crossing my fingers and hoping that on Friday I will get to say good bye to my constant companions the crutches. I am sure then I will have to be told that you can not do everything in a matter of days and to take it easy. I am just curious as to what my restrictions will be if any?
I spent the weekend doing this puzzles that I will show you with photos. It has the kind of colors that attract my eye and I love glitter. It glows in the dark, but it is hard to get a really decent photo of it. I think you will get an idea of it when you see the one photo. I know that John is really tired of doing the washing of the clothes and cooking. Tessa has a list of things that she wants me to make when I am able to take back over the kitchen duties. I would seem that they realize I do have a purpose after all. I hope all are doing well, till next time...
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
I went to the Doctor to get the results of my sleep study. He walks in and say, "You do NOT have sleep apnea." I say is that all, and I am thinking, "Why did you not just call me?" I feel bad that I have wasted John's time with this little run to the clinic. Thank goodness, I will NOT have to wear that mask at night. I have always felt that my sleep problems are the fact that I allow life to get the best of me. I can not get my brain to stop thinking of all the what ifs.
I had a friend that I met on the net tell me that maybe to help myself I should help others. It would take my mind of me and focus on something else. I just have NO idea how to do that? Right now I am trying to wrap my mind around the fact that Tessa will be home the next 2 days. NO SCHOOL!! I know it is very exciting for the kids, but it leaves me with dread. John just laughs and I want to cry.
RIght now, I am waiting for John to get home. He had said it would NOT be late. I can not wait to hear what held him up this time. Then the fun of trying to decide what to cook. I am really looking forward to being able to cook in the kitchen. The last time I tried to do it and have Tessa help ended up with her getting burned with hot water. A person can get really tired of the boxes and cans.
Brenna finally made contact and said the trip went well. She has sent me photos from it. I just wish she could put them somewhere so that family could look at them. The area looks lovely where they were at. I am just glad that they made it back home safe. Till next time...
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
Time to get this written. My days are still running one into another. I seem to do the same things everyday. I have been forced to activities that I have put off and now need to catch up on. The photo albums are now less than 2 years behind.
I will be going to therapy today and I am looking forward to the therapy pool. I know that it gets to be a long boring hour for John. He does NOT let it show though. I sure do wish the sun would come out! The grey skies are making me sleepy.
Yesterday, as I was sitting at my table looking out into my front yard, this young boy come up into my yard and kicked down Tessa's snow woman. I told John was he was doing and he went out and yelled at him. I guess Tessa knows this kid and he does NOT get alone so well with the neighborhood kids. I guess he has something against snow people. Till next time...
Ten Simple Rules for Dating My Daughter
Rule One: If you pull into my driveway and honk, you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up.
Rule Two: You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them. IF you provide a self-addressed stamped envelope, I will gladly mail them back to you.
Rule Three: I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.
Rule Four: I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without utilizing a "barrier method" of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate: when it comes to sex with my daughter, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.
Rule Five: In order for us to get to know each other, you may feel we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only words I need from you on this subject is "On Time."
Rule Six: I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until your relationship is amicably terminated. If you make her cry, I will make you cry.
Rule Seven: As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating my daughter. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process that can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car?
Rule Eight: The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there are no parents, policemen, or nuns within eyesight. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Places where the ambient
temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, sweater and goose down parka zipped up to her throat. Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which feature chain saws are okay. Hockey games are okay. Old folks homes are better.
Rule Nine: Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a middle-aged, dimwitted has-been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless demigod of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and a garden behind the house. Do not trifle with me.
Rule Ten: Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy outside of Hanoi. When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit your car with both hands in plain sight. Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car -- there is no need for you to come inside.
The camouflaged face at the window is mine.
Sunday, March 11, 2007
Saturday, March 10, 2007
Time goes to fast when spent in the company of friends and family. Tessa was out of school early yesterday and spent most of the time playing with friends. The day did NOT end so well. I am always being told to shut when I speak to Tessa and I guess I reached the end of my last nerve. I sometimes wonder if we can ever get her to see that she should NOT speak to us like that.
Today I went out with the family to do a little shopping and was so tired when we got home. The weather is so NICE! Mariah was able to spend some time with us while Alicia got her hair cut. The last place we were at was Target to get the groceries. I stood at the door waiting to get picked up and saw an older lady fall and another man almost all in the same spot. Where the sun does NOT shine is still apparently very slippery.
Tessa had Josee come over to play and they made a snowman in the front yard. I do have pictures, but I have to wait until they can be put on the computer. I guess it is not a big deal that I can not add them now. I do get frustrated that I am still at the mercy of everyone else. I cannot do what I want to when I want to. I am still learning to be patient, but it is SOOO hard. How is everyones weekend going? Till next time...
Thursday, March 08, 2007
Today was a day that was filled with nothingness. I am NOT saying it is a bad thing, but I really do look forward to being more productive in this family. I worked on my photo albums until I hit a creative block, talked to my sister-in-law and missed a couple of phone calls that did NOT leave messages. I do NOT keep that phone attached to me and I just do NOT hobble fast enough!
Last night when Tessa was supposed to be getting ready for bed she was busy creating a picture for me. I am hoping I can scan the picture good enough so that you can see the creative juices at work. Tessa drew a before and after scene. The before shows this person with a paper cut and tears. The after is a hospital room with the paper cut person laying on the bed with others standing around crying. The cause of death was apparently a paper cut. I just do NOT have the kind of mind that thinks this stuff up. I am thinking maybe she is watching to many medical shows on tv. Till next time...
Wednesday, March 07, 2007
I had the pleasure of actually walking today. It was in this lovely therapy pool, but it really felt great! If any of you know me at all you know pools and swimsuits are NOT my favorite thing. I really decided to NOT think about what I looked like, and just enjoyed the experience. John was trying to take photos with his phone. I am pleased to say, THEY DID NOT TURN OUT!
He sits there and listens to everything so that when I do my exercises at home he can sit there and make sure I do them right. I am still being told to SLOW down when I walk with my crutches. I do NOT know why I am having such a hard time doing that? I always end of my therapy session with the cold compression machine. BRRRR!!!!! I guess otherwise it is going ok. I should only have about 2 weeks left on these crutches. I can hardly wait for that day. I am going to close for now. Till next time...
This is for you Mom. Tessa had to write this for school and I know you will enjoy this!
By Tessa Williams Winship Elem.
My favorite old person would have to be my Grandma Judy. I mean yeah, I know she’s not the coolest person in the world. But she’s my grandma.
Every year she’ll take me to the South Dakota Brown County Fair. I love that place!!! But I could do without the animal smell . . . if you know what I mean. Also on Easter she’ll do fun activities like an Easter egg hunt, scavenger hunt, and dying eggs! Thanksgiving is wicked too!!!
She’s a teacher . . . so she can be a little demanding. I said a little.
She makes the best food. Yumm! Potato dumplings, turkey, and cheesecake.
Grandma Judy lives on a farm with my Grandpa Jack. They used to have animals, but now they grow crops.
My grandma is the best grandma in the world. I love Grandma Judy.
Tuesday, March 06, 2007
The thoughts on my mind this morning were, "where is Brenna at?" I know she left last evening to drive all night to Arkansas with those 2 friends. I asked her to let me know she gets there ok, but she really does NOT like to do that. I just have to assume that NO news is good news.
Tessa walked to school and I know that I had asked her if she had her shoes in her bag. I received the affirmative. I went to turn off the lights and low and behold what do I find on the floor, but a pair of shoes. I expected to get a call, but it never came.
Mom called to ask if I knew anything about how Brenna was doing, I had to say NO. I guess Julie was in the cities and would be on her way home today. I can not wait to hear the stories that she will have to tell. Now I need to find something to keep me busy. I am cold and bored and tired of well I will stop whining. JOhn would say do you want some cheese with that. Till next time...
Monday, March 05, 2007
Well, I am sure that John is glad that this day is over. He had to us here and there all day. I made the mistake of thinking my appointment for PT was one time when it was actually earlier. The therapist was so nice and not in the least bit upset by my mistake. I guess she wants me to get in the pool next time. OH JOY! I guess I have to go and find a swimsuit. I told John NO PHOTOS!
Tessa was able to go to the book fair and Daddy helped her get a book. Her teacher called to tell me how she was doing. She does great in everything but math. John and I had the fun of trying to help her with her math homework. We do NOT really understand the different ways they are teaching them to do math now.
Brenna leaves for Arkansas tonight and I will be very relieved when she is home safe. I also think how fun to go on a road trip. Now it is time to enjoy a quiet evening. till next time...
Sunday, March 04, 2007
Saturday was a nice quiet day for all of us. John was outside off and on to take care of the snow and to use the roof rake to pull it off the roof. Tessa had Josee over to play again and I have NO idea what they find to do in the back yard. I spent time on the phone talking to a friend and then John got on the phone and helped with his camera questions.
Alicia stopped by to vacuum my floors. I had to finally break down and ask for some help as too much of this is driving me crazy. She was so happy to be in town by herself. Mariah stayed home with Gregg. She is going to have the Saure's over for a meal. I am sure she will do just fine in making what she has planned.
I wanted to take a photo of John and Tessa last night. They were sitting by the computer all huddled over a video game. I just have to smile at how alike they are. Tessa has found that I am NOT any good at those games. In fact she thinks I suck!! I went to bed to the sounds of their voices discussing what was the best move and the the OH NO's of loosing life or have to start over. I often wonder, where do I fit in?
John has to work today and I am afraid that it will be a long day for him. Two trucks from yesterday were moved to today. Tessa told him to hurry up and get the trucks done so that they could play together again. I will close for now. Till next time...
Saturday, March 03, 2007
Friday, March 02, 2007
Thursday, March 01, 2007
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside.
I just finished cleaning."
2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
" Because I said so, that's why."
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
7. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"
15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way."
19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"
20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE. "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you."