Pretty Pink

I wish I had more of these. The bunnies were really hard on the tulips this year.

One Month Today

Miss Addison

Growing up much to fast!

How the fight started!

Officer, this is how the fight started...

I rear-ended the car in front of me. I admit that. It was
my fault.

So, we both pull over to the side of the road, and slowly
the driver of the car I hit gets out of his car. . . and you know how
you just-get-sooo-stressed... and life...sometimes life seems
like...suddenly funny?

Well, the driver of the car I hit is a DWARF! He gets out
of his car and I get out of my car.

He is frowning and scowling and he storms over to me.
Right up close to me he looks up in my face and says, 'I AM NOT
HAPPY!'

And I don't know what possessed me, officer, but I looked
down at him and I said, 'Well, if you're not Happy -- which one are
you?'

.... And that's when the fight started

Time slipping away.

Does anyone else have this problem, not enough time to get everything done? By the time I get home from work I just want to sit and relax, but how can I when the house screams 'clean me'. I noticed this lovely pair of finches at lunch. They had finally found our bird feeders. When John got home I told him about it and you know what he was doing from then on, YEP, the camera came out. I was working on supper and all John could say was, that smells deceptively good. I still am not sure I like that remark. Hope all is well with everyone. Have a great day or night depending on where you are at! John took the photo of the finch with my camera. I guess he just like testing it out. The eagle was shot on Sunday, I sure wish we could see the mate when we are out there. I took this shot also. Looks to be a bit windy up there in the nest.

5-9-08

Visit to Mariah's class

I was asked to come and see Mariah's little program. I have to say that it was all very sweet. Her teacher did a really nice job. Most of the photos and video I put on Alicia's page. Addison slept through this and did not wake up till Alicia was trying to shop at Target. This door in her room shows all the photos of children by month of their birthday. You know me, I had to take a photo of the section showing August. I am hoping to somehow share some of those 'recipes' in that cookbook. Funny stuff! Have a great day!

5-8-08

Too Small

There is this little flower that grows in my garden. Very small and probably invisible to most. Even trying to get a good shot of it was impossible, doesn't mean we did not both try. This is not important in the great scheme of life. I guess it is just one of the few things that we enjoy trying to do. John seems to do most of the posting these days. I thought I would show the other side a bit. This little flower is no bigger than a thumb nail.

My Morning Message fro Tessa

Addison

The little miss is finally here. She is such a beautiful baby. This photo is when she was just a few hours old.

It has BEGUN!

Today I finally found my crocus and the bunnies have NOT eaten them.

What keeps going through my head!

I don't know if any of you are like me, but sometimes music gets stuck in my head and will not leave. I heard this song on the radio(actually my mp3) and had to find it. The artist is Nicol Sponberg and the song is Resurrection. Here the the lyrics that will NOT go silent.

I'm at a loss for words, there's nothing to say
I sit in silence wondering what led me to this place
How did my heart become so lifeless and cold
Where did the passion go?

When all my efforts seem like chasing wind
I've used up all my strength and there's nothing left to give
I've lost the feeling and I'm down to the core
I can't fake it anymore.

chorus:
Here I am at the end I'm in need of resurrection
Only You can take this empty shell and raise it from the dead
What I've lost to the world what seems far beyond redemption
You can take the pieces in Your hand and make me whole again, again

You speak and all creation falls to its knees
You raise Your hand and calm the waves of the raging sea
You have a way of turning winter to spring
Make something beautiful out of all this suffering

chorus 2:
Here I am once again I'm in need of resurrection
Only You can take this empty shell and raise it from the dead
What I've lost to the world what seems far beyond redemption
You can take the pieces in Your hand and make me whole again, again

You have a way of turning winter to spring
Make something beautiful out of all this suffering

chorus

Prayer for Mac-N-Cheese

Didn't know I was so blind?!

Just picked up the new lenses in my old frames. Bifocals! When did I get old enough for these? I was shocked at how much clearer distance was but HOLY COW, they make me dizzy! It is going to take some getting used to. John gets his eyes checked tomorrow. He was trying on glasses tonight so he would know which to order. (BIG SMILE RIGHT NOW!) He has a rather large head and apparently a crooked face. They all looked lopsided on him. BOY, am I going to hear about this little entry!

Juls was down today but I did not get to see her. She called me a couple of times and had to laugh over the fact she knew what that ring sounded like and how inappropriate it is in most situations. I really need to turn my phone down at work. Alrighty then, time to call it a night! Catch you all later!

My alarm clock.

Bright and early, at 6:45am this little critter came and jumped up on my bed (the couch). Dad spent the morning catching up on some zzzz's with miss Ruby! Aren't they cute?! I have too many photos to deal with. Good times go to fast!

Rules for Home

I am once again trying to find my table. Tessa had another of her jewels laying there. Just random words written on paper. She called it Rules for home and here is what she thinks they are. For every half hour I do chores: that is 45 minutes of computer, video games, friends, DS.

And, if I do chores for 2 hours in one DAY... I get i sleepover! (in the summer) These are her words NOT mine.

She did not have school today and everytime I saw her she was in her pj's on the computer. GRRR! Her dad will be home with her while I work for part of the day. I am hoping the weather does NOT mess up our plans. Everyone have a HAPPY EASTER!

While looking at the ground

The past two days while walking home from work for lunch, I have found little treasures. I have to assume that someone lost a bit of cash sometime during the winter and the snow blower or something found it. Yesterday, I found one complete very dirty dollar bill. Today I found this chewed up partial. Can my life get anymore boring? Just kidding!

March 16, 2008

Apparently the Gerber Daisy that Alicia gave me three years ago has 4 blooms on it right now. John has the photo and I am shocked. I usually think it is on it's last legs, but for some reason it is doing well. I will be so relieved when I can put them all outside once it warms up.

Tessa played at a friends house all afternoon and is happy that she was able to eat Mac and Cheese instead of my Corned Beef and Cabbage. I do NOT understand her taste buds. I enjoy this quiet afternoon so much. I could sit and cross stitch, while sitting in the sun. The only bad thing was that I was so lost in my music I did NOT notice John and that Darn Camera AGAIN! He was standing there grinning like a monkey, just a clicking away!

I usually feel bummed that a weekend goes so fast. I know that when I left work on Friday they had run out of disc space so that I could NOT index and might not be able till Tuesday. I was shown how to key in journal entries. Pretty easy! I am just sitting here minding my own business and I hear a click and a flash of light, for pete sake, do you have to take a photo of me sitting here trying to think of something to write? Time to close out, hope you all have a great week!

LET ME IN!

Max was here yesterday. This is a moment that seems to say LET ME IN! The pinkish color to the right is my reflection in the window of my backdoor. He jumps and scratches to let you know he wants in or out. He has such a sweet face.

Senior Moment

Humor for Lexophiles (Lovers of Words)

A will is a dead giveaway.

A boiled egg is hard to beat.

God don't believe an atheist.

Acupuncture: a jab will done.

A backward poet writes inverse.

A calendar's days are numbered.

Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.

To write with a broken pencil is pointless.

A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.

A thief who stole a calendar got 12 months.

When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U.C.L.A.

A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail.

A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.

Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.

The dead batteries were given out free of charge.

You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.

Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.

When fish are in schools, they sometimes take debate.

A lot of money is tainted: 'Taint yours, and 'taint mine.

If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.

When you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.

He had a photographic memory which was never developed.

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. then it hit me.

The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.

Those who get to big for their britches will be exposed in the end.

When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.

Police were called to a day care where a 3-yr-old was resisting a rest.

The roundest knight of King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.

Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you a A-flat miner.

A thief fell and broke his leg in wet cement. he became a hardened criminal.

The butcher backed up into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.

The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France, resulted in linoleum Blownapart.

Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.

In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your Count that votes.

A dyslexic insomniac atheist is a man that stays up late at night wondering if there is a dog.

Thank God for Church Ladies

They're Back! Those Wonderful Church Bulletins! Thank God for church ladies with typewriters.
These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services (Summer, 2007 Release).
----------------------------------------------------------
The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
----------------------------------------------------------
The sermon this morning "Jesus Walks on Water." The sermon tonight "Searching for Jesus."
----------------------------------------------------------
Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 PM in the recreation hall. Come out and
watch us kill Christ the King.
----------------------------------------------------------
Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping
around the house. Bring your husbands.
----------------------------------------------------------
The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.
----------------------------------------------------------
Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love.
Say "Hell" to someone who doesn't care much about you.
---------------------------------------------------------
Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
---------------------------------------------------------
Miss Charlene Mason sang "I will not pass this way again," giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
----------------------------------------------------------
For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
----------------------------------------------------------
Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
----------------------------------------------------------
The Rector will preach his farewell message after which the choir will sing "Break Forth Into Joy."
---------------------------------------------------------
Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship
that began in their school days.
---------------------------------------------------------
A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall.
Music will follow.
--------------------------------------------------
At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What Is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.
---------------------------------------------------------
Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the
deterioration of some older ones.
---------------------------------------------------------
Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
---------------------------------------------------------
Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.
---------------------------------------------------------
The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.
-------------------------------------------------
Potluck supper Sunday at 500 PM - prayer and medication to follow.
---------------------------------------------------------
The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
----------------------------------------------------------
This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
---------------------------------------------------------
Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. Is done.
----------------------------------------------------------
The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles
for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
--------------------------------------------
Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.
---------------------------------------------------------
The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation
is invited to attend this tragedy.
----------------------------------------------------------
Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
----------------------------------------------------------
The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan Last Sunday "I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours"

The Other Half

John had posted a photo on Facebook that he called dueling cameras. This is from my side of that duel. He was just starting to take a few shots after removing it from the box. Do you think his hands were shaking?

Briefly

The sun popped out briefly Saturday about noon, and melted the snow off the deck before it hid again. Nakita had to be out with me. There are 2 steps under all the snow she is standing on.

Computer Glitch

Can't respond

to any emails today,

Something has crashed

on my computer . .

Something I am going to regret

John has been busy taking photos to see how different settings work. So basically just messing around. I made the mistake and as soon as I did, I knew I would regret it. When will I ever learn to NOT make faces at people holding cameras? Brenna has this photo of me that I soo hate but it is quite funny. John just captured another one like that. He just sent it to me and now I live in fear he will post it. Tessa is threatening to post if he doesn't. TIme to relax and enjoy an evening at home. What about you?

Ole of Duluth

I was sent this while at work today, I have to say I could not help but laugh out loud. I sent it on to John and he shared it with a friend that lives in New York. He had never heard an Ole joke, HOW CAN THAT BE?

A doctor in Duluth wanted to get off work and go hunting,
so he approached his assistant. "Ole, I am goin huntin tomorrow
and don't want to close the clinic. I want you to take care of
the clinic and take care of all me patients".

"Yes, sir!" answers Ole.
The doctor goes hunting and returns the following day
and asks: "So, Ole, how was your day?"

Ole told him that he took care of three patients.

"The first one had a headache so I gave him TYLENOL."

"Bravo, Mate, and the second one?" asks the doctor.

"The second one had stomach burning and I gave him
MAALOX, sir," says Ole.

"Bravo, bravo!

You're good at this and what about the third one?" asks
the doctor.

"Sir, I was sitting here and suddenly the door opens and a
woman enters. Like a flame, she undresses herself, taking
off everything including her bra and her panties and lies
down on the table and shouts:

'HELP ME! For five years I have not seen any man!"

"Tunderin' Lard Jayzus, Ole, what did you do?" he asks.

"I put drops in her eyes."

Ear Infection

Mom STOP! Some humor only!

They always ask at the doctor's office why you are here, and you have to answer in front of others what's wrong and sometimes it is embarrassing. There's nothing worse than a Doctor's Receptionist who insists that you tell her what is wrong with you in a room full of other patients. I know most of us have experienced this, and I love the way this old guy handled it.

An 86 year old man walked into a crowded waiting room and approached the desk.... The Receptionist said, 'Yes sir, what are you seeing the Doctor for today?' 'There's something wrong with my dick', he replied.

The receptionist became irritated and said, 'you shouldn't come into a crowded waiting room and say things like that.' 'Why not, you asked me what was wrong and I told you,' he said. The Receptionist replied; 'Now you've caused some embarrassment in this room full of people. You should have said there is something wrong with your ear or something and discussed the problem further with the Doctor in private.' The man replied, 'You shouldn't ask people questions in a roomful of strangers, if the answer could embarrass anyone.'

The man walked out, waited several minutes and then re-entered. The Receptionist smiled smugly and asked, 'Yes??' 'There's something wrong with my ear', he stated. The Receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he had taken her advice. 'And what is wrong with your ear, Sir?' 'I can't piss out of it,' he replied. The waiting room erupted in laughter. Mess with seniors and you're going to Lose!

The Ultimate Peep Show

March 5, 2008

Tessa stayed home today with a sore throat. I really think she almost enjoyed it. I was not there to chase her off the computers and she could put sugar on her cereal. I am sitting here now, feeling rather numb, tired something. This is usually the day I get to be with Alicia and Mariah over the supper hour, going to rather miss it. Hopefully John will not be working to late and we can still run out and do a couple of errands as we are out of milk! How are all of you?

All together again

This has been a really strange weekend. John covered most of what happened yesterday. I did not realize how freaked out he was when he heard that Brenna went in the ditch. I am usually the one that gets all worked up. Mariah thought that was an awfully fun roller coaster ride and wanted to do it again. HAHAHA! I guess it is a relief she will think of this as a bad memory.

Today we are hoping to look at a few dresses to get ideas for the bridesmaid. It looks like Tessa is going to be one of them. She says she can do it as long as no one makes her say anything. I guess I should be getting off here soon. The date has been set at 8-2-08 and it will be in Bismarck. I took a photo of her ring, and will get in here eventually. HAVE A GREAT DAY!

IF MEN VACUUMED

It's Official

Brenna is engaged. She wants 8-8-08 as the date. Keep that in mind and in your prayers as they start to plan for this next step!

Pajama Day

Tessa had pajama day on Thursday. How comfortable would that be to go to work in our pj's? She is holding a flashlight in her hands. They also had this reading with flashlight moment. I know she would have liked to be there for that.

Happy Valentine's Day

A little treat for work, and hoping it tastes ok as I was tweaking the recipe at the last minute.

A Toddler's Tea Party!!

Thanks, Melissa, this one put a smile on my face.

One day my mother was out and my dad was in charge of me and
my brother, who is four years older than I am. I was maybe 1 and a
half years old or 2, and had just recovered from an accident in
which my arm had been broken, among other injuries.

Someone had given me a little 'tea set' as a get-well gift
and it was one of my favorite toys. Daddy was in the living
room engrossed in the evening news and my brother was
playing nearby in the living room when I brought Daddy a
little cup of 'tea', which was just water. After several cups
of tea and lots of praise for such yummy tea, my Mom came
home. My Dad made her wait in the living room to watch
me bring him a cup of tea, because it was 'just the cutest
thing!!'

My Mom waited, and sure enough, here I come down the
hall with a cup of tea for Daddy and she watches him drink
it up, then says, 'Did it ever occur to you that the only place

that baby can reach to get water is the toilet?'

The Sunrise

I looked out the window as Tessa and I were getting ready to leave the house. The colors were spectacular. I tried to catch them with the camera, but it always seems to fall short. Just imagine the hues being much deeper! Now the flakes fall, even that can be strangely beautiful.

February 11, 2008

Good Morning World, is it COLD enough for you? The cameras at this house have been silent for a few days. Life was NICE and quiet, just the way I like it. If Tessa would not have had the art thing to go to on Saturday, we would NOT have left the house.

John had the pleasure of playing dolly Doctor. Tessa was using hand cleanser and some of it dropped on her doll's eye lashes. The lashes fell off and so he was able to reattach them with glue. You would have thought it was the end of the world at the time. I was more curious why she was using the cleanser in the first place?

I had the pleasure of getting our taxes done. IT went faster than I thought it would. I had warned John that I would need to sit at his computer, so while I was doing that, he put supper in the crock pot. IT smelled so good all day. You did a great job!

Do you ever wish there were two of you? I never seem to get everything done like I want to. Now that the weekend has flown by, I need to face the work week. Mondays are always a bit of a struggle, I have to leave the house. Mom, when you are ready to write you can send me more photos. Susan, hello and hope this is a great day for you!

Shock and Fright!

Max has been leaving me with a rather large range of emotions. I had just gotten home from work and looked forward to just a few minutes of quiet. I am sitting in my chair and all of the sudden the little mister takes a run at me, somehow jumps into my chair, climbs up my side and sits on my head. To say I was surprised is putting it mildly.

I put them outside and was calling them back in when he would not come back. I put Nakita back out and if she would NOT have been looking under my deck I would have never dreamed he was there. He did NOT make a sounds. I pulled him out after moving some snow. I just wish I knew where he got in at. I thought I was going to have to call in the rescue.

Lori, I know you have had a taste of Max for the day. HE sure does have lots on energy, and just when one lays down the other one gets going again. Now to try and get some supper started. That is always interesting when they both are in the kitchen getting under my feet. How is everyone, enjoying the SNOW? Have a great evening!

Quotes I Found Today.

Some people spend an entire lifetime wondering if they made a difference in the world. But, the Marines don't have that problem.
Ronald Reagan, President of the United States; 1985

"If we ever forget that we're One Nation Under God, then we will be a nation gone under." Also by.. Ronald Reagan

January 29, 2008

This past weekend was quiet and yet I am not complaining. Julie did her good deed for the year. She was gracious enough to take Tessa to that Chipmonk movie. Since John was not feeling well, I went to a movie by myself, 'Cloverfield'. I had to laugh, more than I went to grab John and then realized I was sitting there alone. I really like that new theater on the east side, River Cinema.

John has spent so much time figuring out that new phone. I have to laugh when I see him with it. His hands looks so large in comparison to it. The weather this weekend was so nice. It gives a person hope that Spring will eventually get here.

Alicia and Mariah were in town Saturday and stopped by. She did some work on the internet before leaving for home. I know she wishes they could get access to the internet at home. I hope that it happens for them in the near future.

I hear Tessa's alarm going off. I guess my quiet is about to end. This is my long day, and since it is supposed to be so cold out, I really do NOT want to have to leave the house. Hope you all have a great day! Till next time...

WHY GOD MADE MOMS

Answers given by 2nd grade school children to the following questions:

Why did God make mothers?

1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
2. Mostly to clean the house.
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.


How did God make mothers?

1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.


What ingredients are mothers made of ?

1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.


Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?

1. We're related.
2. God knew she like s me a lot more than other people's moms like me.


What kind of little girl was your mom?

1. My Mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.
2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
3. They say she used to be nice.


What did mom need to know about dad before she
married him?

1. His last name.
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?


Why did your mom marry your dad?

1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a lot.
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
3. My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on.


Who's the boss at your house?

1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball.
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.


What's the difference between moms & dads?

1. Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work.
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's.
4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.


What does your mom do in her spare time?

1. Mothers don't do spare time.
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.


What would it take to make your mom perfect?

1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
2. Diet. You know her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.

If you could change one thing about your mom,
what would it be?

1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.
2. I'd make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.
3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.

January 25, 2008

Max wanted to get to the Schwan Man. He did not really notice that gate until I crossed over it and then it was of interest to him. Tessa thought it was funny to make his ears lay back for this photo. He is just to cute for his own good. Tessa posed with him by the window the other day. He is growing way to fast.

Watching

This photo was taken Tuesday. I was sitting in my rocking chair when all of the sudden Max jumped up to the window to look out. He is growing so fast, but still finds this quite a stretch. Good night everyone!

More politically correct

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND
BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. He does not have a 'BEER GUT' - He has developed a
'LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.'

2. He is not a 'BAD DANCER' - He is 'OVERLY CAUCASIAN.'

3. He does not 'GET LOST ALL THE TIME' - He 'INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.'

4. He is n ot 'BALDING' - He is in 'FOLLICLE REGRESSION.'

5. He is not a 'CRADLE ROBBER' - He prefers 'GENERATIONAL DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS.'

6. He does not get 'FALLING-DOWN DRUNK' - He becomes 'ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL. '


7. He does not act like a 'TOTAL ASS' - He develops a case of 'RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.'

8 He is not a 'MALE CHAUVINIST PIG' - He has 'SWINE EMPATHY.'

9. He is not afraid of 'COMMITMENT' - He is 'RELATIONSHIP CHALLENGED.'

10. He is not 'HORNY' - He is 'SEXUALLY FOCUSED.'

11. It's not his 'CRACK' you see hanging out of his pants - It's 'REAR CLEAVAGE '

More politically correct

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY
CORRECT:

1. She is not a 'BABE' or a 'CHICK' - She is a
'BREASTED AMERICAN.'

2. She is not a 'SCREAMER' or a 'MOANER' - She is 'VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE.'

3. She is not 'EASY' - She is 'HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.'

4. She is not a 'DUMB BLONDE' - She is a 'LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.'

5. She has not 'BEEN AROUND' - She is a 'PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION.'

6. She is not an 'AIRHEAD' - She is 'REALITY
IMPAIRED.'

7. She does not get 'DRUNK' or 'TIPSY' - She gets 'CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED'

8. She does not have 'BREAST IMPLANTS' - She is 'MEDICALLY ENHANCED.'

9. She does not 'NAG' you - She becomes 'VERBALLY REPETITIVE.'

10. She is not a 'TRAMP' - She is 'SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED.'

11. She does not have 'MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS' - She is 'PECTORALLY SUPERIOR.'

12 She is not a 'TWO-BIT HOOKER' - She is a 'LOW COST PROVIDER.'

Politically Correct

Due
to the climate of political correctness now pervading America , Kentuckians,
Tennesseans and West Virginians will no longer be referred to as
'HILLBILLIES.'

You
must now refer to us as APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS.

Just a little silliness I found in emails this morning.

Sermon

The Sermon I think this Mom will never forget.... this particular Sunday sermon..."Dear Lord," the minister began, with arms extended toward heaven and a rapturous look on his upturned face. "Without you, we are but dust..." He would have continued but at that moment my very obedient daughter who was listening leaned over to me and asked quite audibly in her shrill little four year old girl voice,

Mom, what is butt dust?"

Afternoon Together

One thing about winter, we get to spend most of our time indoors playing together. Tessa likes to play with her dad on the DS. It is really nice when the games will let the two of them play together through WI-FI.

Forgotten Item

Last night when I was writing, I forgot to mention that Brenna was given a promotion this week. For the life of me, I can not remember what it is though. You will have to ask her about it. 'Mom, you have to pray for me everyday!' That is what I was told after the news. Is everyone stay warm? -19 is crazy! Ok, I guess I need to get off here and stop messing around. Till next time...

Have you ever wondered what idiots look like?

January 18, 2008

Every day this week, I wanted to sit down here and write something. Every night by the time I could, my mind had gone TIRED! Mom, with your stories you tell me in the afternoon, you really should write them down so that others can read them. The conversation we had on Monday stayed with me for days. I kept thinking what a delicious sense of humor HE has, placing a Muslim and a Christian exchange student in the same home.

I had to laugh when I noticed a friends message on MSN. 'IT"S SNOWING', he lives in Atlanta, Georgia. His son had hoped they would NOT have school that day. His worry was black ice later.

My afternoons can sometimes be rather LOUD! Two dogs in a small house, running and nipping at each other. I am still waiting for Nakita to put that little pup in his place. I always have the kennels when it gets to be too much.

Tomorrow is Alicia's birthday. Where have the last 26 years gone? They plan to go to Fargo to do a bit of shopping. Gregg and Lori get to have Mariah and Max visit for the day. (I hope it all goes well!) Tessa hopes to see her, so not sure what is going to happen.

As you can see Julie-Ann, life is pretty quiet here. I always look forward to the evening when everyone is safely home and we can enjoy the quiet. Hope you all stay safe and warm this weekend. Till next time...

Mohawk

I took my dad to the mall the other day to buy some new shoes.
We decided to grab a bite at the food court. I noticed he was
watching a
teenager sitting next to him. The teenager had spiked hair in
all different colors: green, red, orange and blue. My dad kept
staring at
him. The teenager would look and find him staring every
time.

When the teenager had enough, he sarcastically asked, 'What's
the matter old man, never done anything wild in your life?'

His response: 'Got drunk once and had sex with a peacock. I
was just wondering if you were my son.'

New Toy

I was in Michael's today and of course found something new to try. It is really more of something for Tessa to play with, but I could NOT help myself. I gave the new product a whirl once I got home. Tessa came out to see what it did exactly, and then made a comment that I just had to laugh over. 'I do not like it to get messy!' She was referring to the cutting board having the impression of the image that was just cut out on top of it. I always say that she is so much like her father, which of course she is!! She comes up with these remarks and I am reminded sadly that she also has my hangups. This week another one showed up, she had borrowed a book to one of my coworkers, and just asked that she be very careful with her book. This person decided that she did NOT dare bring the book home in case her children messed it up. This little tendency for our books to stay as pristine as possible must be a family trait. YOU KNOW WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT JULS!

John found a game for our DS that he just knew I would like. POOL! I know that later we will be giving it a try. Mom, you will never believe what we saw in Walmart, a John Deere Calendar. I told Alicia about it, as she happened to be there just looking at baby things. She wants to register soon for things she would like. Susan, what was the car seat that you did not like? I keep telling her to ask you.

Tessa was invited to a hockey game tonight with a friend. She will have to tell what it is like as I have never been to one. Well, at least not with the men. OK, time to get something done today. Till next time...

Hooked on Phonics

Into every lesson a little humor must fall...

Jake is 5 and learning to read.

He points at a picture in a zoo book and says, 'Look Mama! It's a
frickin' Elephant!'

Deep breath ... 'What did you call it?'

'It's a frickin' Elephant, Mama! It says so on the picture!'

and so it does ....

'A f r i c a n Elephant'

Hooked on phonics!!! Ain't it wonderful?