Issues

Tessa tells me to get over my issues. I want to get over them, but find myself facing life with trepidation. I have a serious lack of faith and trust. The way we all seem to treat each other leaves me with a serious bad taste in my mouth. I always want to keep every one happy, but being a peace maker is really exhausting. I would rather just go and hide my head and let the world spin on by.

Tell me, is there anything more important than family? I don't think so, so it hurts when there are conflicts. I have one, it is going to be coming on a year, and I have NO idea how to fix it. I am told repeatedly to make the first step. Now would someone tell me what to say!?! I hear of the hurts, and I allow myself to feel them. I can imagine how bad to loose something that you wait for all year. I remember being told if you don't do this you can not do something. I worked my butt off to accomplish the required task. I was NOT going to miss out on camp. It was the one thing I looked forward all year, to this day it is still my favorite memories of childhood. Mom, you can stop thinking you were a bad mom. You know this would motivate me to mow the lawn, the dreaded of all jobs back then!

Alicia and Gregg are back home. They came by yesterday to show us the photos they took on their trip last week. I loved seeing all the photos of the mountains and waterfalls. I want to go on a trip like that again. Tessa keeps reminding me that she has not done all the things her big sisters did.

I am sitting here wondering if what I have just written will in some way upset or irritate. It is NOT my intention, just speaking what is on my mind. Right now, I should be finding all the different questions I have been asked on Skype funny, for me it just shows the sad state our world is in. It is way to perverted for my taste. I have lost some of the innocence I first had when I entered this internet world. I think I have just shown how much my mind can wonder, it hops from one subject to another. Poor John has to put up with this every day. I guess I need to close as supper time fast approaches. I hope all is well with everyone! Till next time...