Thursday, June 14, 2007

A letter to my daughter

At night when I should be sleeping, words will come to me. The morning will often find them gone and me wishing I could recall them. This daughter has been on my mind. I sometimes think I do not express how much I really love her. This is my attempt to put my thoughts down and I really hope I don't mess it up.
The moment you arrived and seemed to look at me from the warmer, you had my heart. The year of every 2 hour feedings, (which at the time I thought I would NOT survive) to the trip to the emergency room to deal with the meal of tylenol you decided to enjoy. The time you thought it necessary to inspect a mommy bunny's cage and she did not like it. I will have you know, I think you may be the only one in this family that has ever needed stitches so far. I am still amazed they put stitches in your tiny little finger. My embarrassment when you came out needing help with your pants while we were out in public.
The first year of college, I had to drag you on the bus to catch a ride to class. You were the topic of many a conversation with those around me. I have to laugh at all the little moments that pop into my head. The time I picked you up from the University Children's Center and you told me,"Mommy, you stink!" I am sure I turned three shades of red, and quickly made our escape.
I still see this tall skinny little girl with long blonde hair that I would put into those three pony tails. Your face seemed to be all eyes and such a dark brown. The tears I would cry when I would watch you go by yourself to get on a bus for the first time. The back rubs you gave when I was pregnant with Tessa. It was so sweet to have you still want to be my little girl for just a little longer.
I watched you grow into this amazing young woman. I felt the pain of seeing you struggle with disappointments in life. I know you have all these desires in your heart, and you wonder if they will ever be fulfilled. The solitary life you have had to endure at times seems so not fair.
We have often agreed that our personalities are like night and day. The sparks often fly when we do NOT see eye to eye. I know you have my best interests at heart and I am pretty sure I drive you crazy at times. I can only say this, I love you very much and you are in my thoughts ever day.
Hearts divider

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