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I noticed this tree sometime ago. Even in death there was a strange beauty to it. Call me crazy, I think the cop that stopped  to see if we needed help thought it was funny too.

Another year ends

I have been doing a lot of thinking. My life lately has left me less than satisfied.  I feel like this house has been a war zone for too long. I often find myself thinking, what did I do wrong in another life?

I love my children, but being a mother has been the hardest job. I am often reminded that in many ways I failed at the most important job I was ever given.

I found a place to work, that for years I absolutely loved. It saddens me that I can't honestly say that now. I have worked closely with so many wonderful people.  It has always saddened me when they move on and I continue on without them. A new year is here, I wonder what is in store for me? Where will I be when it ends?

I have tried to send out emails to update my blog, without success. It isn't like I had anything really important to say.  It would nice to just think our thoughts and have them appear in words. It would probably get us in much trouble if we had that capability. I know it would me.

Another week passes, rather quietly I might add. The biggest news was getting SNOW. It is an adventure to live in this state. One day sunshine and warmth, the next day it is cold and snowy. The coming week brings two milestones , Tessa turns 16 and I turn 50. I would really like to know how this could have possibly. I really don't feel like I should be 50. I feel like I am rambling so will close for now. I am distracted by other activities going on in this room.  That is all for now.

Much to Ponder

It took having my Mulitply shutting down, to cause me to reflect back and read. It was in those words that I realized, I lost myself somewhere along the way. I lost my faith, my belief and now must try to find my way back. I wonders, does age change how we view life? I am very close to turning 50. What does that mean? I guess with each day, I am going to find out.

Pure Enjoyment

It is not often that evenings come together and leave me feeling so content. It could be that this was not the easiest week. When your child struggles with like, the rest of the family struggles with a feeling of helplessness. 

A fire crackles, there has been the changing of the guards, the Moon slowly rises to light the night. I can only hope that the rest of my family is enjoying the moment in time.

Almost forgotten

I seem to have forgotten to even come here and check this site. I shouldn't let life become so busy that I don't remember to write down the good and the bad moments in life. I will have to see if I am able to do a better job of it?

January 18, 2008

Every day this week, I wanted to sit down here and write something. Every night by the time I could, my mind had gone TIRED! Mom, with your stories you tell me in the afternoon, you really should write them down so that others can read them. The conversation we had on Monday stayed with me for days. I kept thinking what a delicious sense of humor HE has, placing a Muslim and a Christian exchange student in the same home.

I had to laugh when I noticed a friends message on MSN. 'IT"S SNOWING', he lives in Atlanta, Georgia. His son had hoped they would NOT have school that day. His worry was black ice later.

My afternoons can sometimes be rather LOUD! Two dogs in a small house, running and nipping at each other. I am still waiting for Nakita to put that little pup in his place. I always have the kennels when it gets to be too much.

Tomorrow is Alicia's birthday. Where have the last 26 years gone? They plan to go to Fargo to do a bit of shopping. Gregg and Lori get to have Mariah and Max visit for the day. (I hope it all goes well!) Tessa hopes to see her, so not sure what is going to happen.

As you can see Julie-Ann, life is pretty quiet here. I always look forward to the evening when everyone is safely home and we can enjoy the quiet. Hope you all stay safe and warm this weekend. Till next time...

January 4, 2008

For the past week I have felt like someone turned my energy to zero. I am just getting by and hate feeling like this. I could hardly sleep last night and I know it is because my throat is SORE! I am not going to whine about it, just stating the facts.

IT was great to see Mom and Dad yesterday for a few minutes and Juls came through on the way to Fargo. We will see her again either Sunday or Monday. She was thrilled with the little birthday gift.

It is only 3:30 and I am in my pj's. Could we please just make this all go away! Tessa is NOT home and that is not helping with my mood. I have to clean out the files in the cabinet. I think I will just take then into the living room later and sit on the floor and try to figure out the mess. It seems like all I do these day is shuffle paper.

The week the vouchers checks had to be stuffed, sealed, and stamped, all 400 of them or so. I think we amazed ourselves at how fast that was done. Then I had the fun job of indexing them into the system. I was so happy to finish the last of them this morning!

There is one thing I really dread doing this weekend, taking down the tree. I LOVE the lights! It always feels so empty when it is done. I hope all of you are doing well! Have a great weekend. Till next time...

Gone

Girly Comments & Graphics

I see scenes like this and wonder what it was like to live during these times. The reality is probably full of problems like the present. It is much too easy to drift off into our past memories and wish, but if we were honest, we were no happier. I was called a 'candy cane' last night and for the life of me could not figure out why. John thought it was rather funny, to make reference to my pale skin and RED hair! I have to laugh as some of the responses to my color. One guy came around the corner while I was scanning and yelled about being blinded! HMM!! I could list all the reactions, but I will not bore you with those details. Juls, it is RED like you had it! My quiet time will end soon when the little MISS comes barrelling through the door. So I am going to sign off and ENJOY it! Catch you later!

November 14, 2007

The day started with a zipper that would not work. I must say that it was rather disappointing! The people at work always seem to put a smile on my face. Do you ever just sense if someone is having a rough time of it? This one lady left me with the feeling that it would NOT have take much to see tears. It is tough to see that and not know the rest of the story.

Alicia brought this cute little fiber optic tree for her office. I helped her set it up before I went home. Later, Tessa and I walked back to the office so that we could ride with her and Mariah to church. We first enjoyed a meal at the village Inn. I am not going to repeat the conversation on the way to Church, but Mariah had us all in stitches! I wonder where she comes up with some of the things she says. I guess she lost another tooth tonight, eating cotton candy. She really can say "All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth!"

John and I were able to spend some time together, SHOPPING! I know just how much he loves it. I did some of it while he was sitting in the mall by the fireplace eating a sub. The rest was a mad dash from store to store before he had to go and get Tessa.

It looks like I will be able to work a few extra hours to make up for having Monday off. The car crapped out and the repair was EXPENSIVE!! Thank Goodness for a service man that trusted us to make payments. Time to sign off, another day finished! Till next time...

November 11, 2007

This has been a beautiful weekend weather wise. Having the car end up in the shop, was irritating to stay the least, and I hope the part that needs to be replaced is the cheaper of the 2 options! John and I got rid off most of the old flower stalks and found one hardly little plant still blooming. The rest of the bed is SOO depressing, that I almost can not wait for the snow to cover it till it gets to be green again. My mind is tired and so I will close for now. Till next time...

Dread

Today is the big dress up day. I sit here in costume and would do anything to go and put on normal clothes. I found out yesterday that I have lost almost 1/4 inch in height. HOW DID THAT HAPPEN!? The weight that found me did not surprise me. I hope everyone is having a great day! Till next time...

Amusement

Tonight I was checking my stat counter to see who had been looking at my sites. I had to laugh when I saw what kind of a google search had led some on to my blogger. I guess they were looking for 'BLOG INGREDIENTS CRYSTAL METH'. I am sure they were greatly disappointed when they found that poem I had posted a few days back. Mom, I am sure you will know which I am talking about. It is the one you printed off and took to school. Till next time...

Continued for yesterday

Here is that photo that I told you about. The cocoon for a butterfly. John found it after removing those plants by the west side of the house. Not a very pretty thing, but it serves a purpose. Till next time...

October 6, 2007

I am sure that John really dreaded this day. I had hinted that I wanted to do yard work as it was probably going to be the last chance we would have. The next two weekends are spent busy with family activities. A long awaited visit from my brother and Tessa's big moment. (I can not wait till this is past me!) Tessa is very happy with the banner that Julie made for her. She was amazed that all the colors were used like she asked.

It is always much easier to shop when the little people stay at home. John and I were able to pick out clothes with out the constant "Come here!" I think you all know what I mean, especially if you have ever been in the store with Tessa.

I can now sit here and breath a sigh of relief because the yard work is done. John dug up the butterfly plant as it was just to aggressive where I had put it. He found a cocoon stuck to the side of the house and I hope to get a photo here of it. We are all getting ready to watch another Sci-Fi Thriller. What can I say, we are hooked on these rather cheesy saturday movies! Are you going to be watching it to night Juls, or did you have to set the DVR for later enjoyment!! Till next time...

October 5, 2007

Hi Mom, I know I did not get to talk to you today when you called. I was in the middle of another service call with the cable guy. I really hope that is the last time that I have to see one of those guys for a very long time.

My day went really well, actually I just have to say it was a great day. It was full of laughter, being amazed by coworkers and the silliness that sometimes comes out when you least expect it. I was asked out to lunch with some of the administrators to the Panda Buffet. Tessa was so jealous when she heard that.

I finally pulled out that cross stitch project I have been working on for 2 years. I just want to get it DONE! I just wish my eyes could not get so tired while trying to see the little squares. Brenna, you may get this stocking before you are old and grey. John had to put in a LONG day again. I am just hoping he will not have to go in on Sunday. How are all of you doing? Time to close and get some sleep. YEAH!!! Till next time...

Where does the TIME go!!

Another night is slipping away from me. I had planned to write but had the pleasure of chatting with Brenna instead. I was sitting, watching news and wondering about what attracts your attention?! Most of you will not be surprised by what gets my attention. It is NOT the usual pretty things that most women like, but say something about an archaeological site or something forensic related and you have my attention. Did you know of the fascination that both Tessa and I have of the Titanic? Why, I wish I knew. Do any of you know what Pompeii is? I wish I knew when I first heard of it, but my mind often wonders about that place. I would love to travel to some of these place of old ruins and imagine if the stones could speak. Now, I am ready to call it a day. There will be more time tomorrow for all the what ifs that cross my mind. Till next time...

His mysterious ways

This week had me waking up some mornings and just plain feeling like a dork. It does NOT help when Tessa has to make her usual comments. I was even starting to wonder if I was doing a good job at work. (it is amazing where are mind can take us!)

I had not asked for confirmation on how I was doing, but HE knew what I needed to hear. To make a long story short, a coworker told me as he was walking away how much he appreciated what I was doing and that this place did not always let you know that. What a nice thing to say when I knew he was NOT feeling well and should have gone home with a migraine. It is often those little kindness that mean the most. I will close for now. I wish that John could write about what goes on at is job. Till next time...

The wait is over.

The news I was waiting for was the confirmation that Jerry was coming for a visit. I have been told he is in October for a week. I know that Mom hopes to get all of us together for a family photo. I hope we are able to give her that opportunity. I would like to put more of my thoughts here tonight, but I have acquired this lovely little headache that I am sure is from eye strain at work. I am glad it is the weekend and hopefully it will be relaxing. I know that Gregg and his crew start the beet harvest tonight. It will be a long 2 weeks for Alicia and Mariah. I will close for now. I hope you all have a great weekend! Till next time...

The waiting

The thought of the possibilities of the news of last night makes my head spin. The wait for the confirmation is torture and what a disappointment if it does NOT happen. Juls, you beat me in referencing it! HOW IS EVERYONE? Go out and enjoy this beautiful day! Till next time...